Page 29 of Secrets, Scandals and Baby Shoes

“I am.”

Their eyes met, and they smiled at each other. The atmosphere between them had eased since the fun of the grape stomping, enough so that they could talk without snapping at each other.

“Are you starting to enjoy our trip?” Lucy asked, sipping some water.

“I am.” Just then, their server arrived with another wine. This one, Lucy and Elliot agreed, was sweeter and generally tastier, probably an eight or a nine, even. They drank a little more of it.

“I have to ask,” Lucy said, grinning a little. Elliot wondered if she was feeling tipsy. “Why did you name your company Keype Data Security?”

“Because it has ‘key’ in it,” Elliot explained. “And it’s pronounced like ‘keep.’ For a cybersecurity organization, it’s perfect. It sounds safe and secure.”

The next wine, a dry white from a different vineyard, arrived. They agreed that this one was acceptable but not exactly delicious. It was a five, no more, and no less.

“I have a question, too,” Elliot said. “Do you still swim? I remember that you loved swimming in college.”

“I did, and I still do,” Lucy confirmed. “I get to the pool a few times a week, mostly, unless I’m too busy with work or travel or something.” She sipped her wine, as did Elliot. This latest one was a white that they both described as “crisp,” though neither was sure if that was the correct description. They did agree, though, that it was a six. “Do you still play basketball?”

“Not anymore. There are some adult recreational teams, but I’m not as drawn to it as I used to be. I hit the gym when I can, and I run sometimes, but I don’t play much anymore. Although Dominic and I used to do pickup games when he came to visit me.”

Now that the walls were coming down around them, it was like all the details of the years they’d missed were flooding back. Elliot found himself full of regret. Perhaps he and Lucy could have shared that time if he could have gotten past their heartache. Surely, being friends was better than nothing.

Or maybe not. Looking at Lucy across the table as she talked about her life in New York, where she shared an apartment with two women even though she could have afforded her own, Elliot was reminded of the girl he’d known in college and how attracted he had been to her. How attracted he still was.

A few wines later, Elliot could feel himself getting tipsy. He ate a little bread to try to counteract the feeling while telling himself firmly to enjoy this evening. Even if he got a little tipsy, he shouldn’t bring up his past with Lucy. That would ruin everything and probably make them fight again. He would stick to light topics. He’d ask more about her hobbies, or share a lighthearted story about Elliot, or talk more about the wines. He definitely wouldn’t bring up what had happened in college.

“I still think about what happened between us in college,” Elliot said. Immediately, he realized his mistake, but it was too late. The words were out.

Lucy bit her lip as her eyes skated away from Elliot’s. “I know. Me too.”

“I tried to pretend it was fine, but it hurt that you walked away without an explanation.”

“Really?” Lucy looked surprised. “You told me you would find another girl without any trouble at all.”

“Well, I didn’t.” Elliot sipped his wine. “There was never anyone else like you, Lucy. You broke my heart.”

He needed to stop himself, but he couldn’t. He felt even worse when he saw tears rising in Lucy’s clear blue eyes. She wiped her cheeks and nodded.

“You deserve an explanation.” Her voice was a little shaky.

“No, I shouldn’t have said anything?—”

“Just listen.” Lucy held up a hand. “I broke up with you because Dominic had just told me about his diagnosis.” Another tear rolled down her cheek. “I knew he would be upset if we were together, and I couldn’t do that to him, not when he only hada few years to live. And I couldn’t explain what was going on to you, not when Dominic had just told me he wanted to keep his diagnosis quiet.” A second tear chased the first. “I’m sorry, Elliot. I broke my own heart, too.”

Elliot’s mouth fell open. His chest ached, just as it had when Lucy had first ended things with him. In an instant, he realized the pain she’d gone through when she’d ended things. No wonder she’d broken things off so suddenly. No wonder she hadn’t told him why. She’d been young and trying to do the right thing. “Lucy…”

“If I’d thought our relationship was going anywhere, I would have done something different, but I knew I was just a fling to you. I couldn’t hurt Dominic over a fling, no matter how I felt.”

“But it wasn’t a fling.” Elliot set down his glass and leaned forward. “Not for me, anyway.”

“What?” Lucy’s eyes widened.

“Lucy.” Elliot shook his head. “Didn’t you know how much I cared about you?” Memories from their college days rushed back — his reputation as a playboy, his hesitation to tell Lucy how he felt, his retort that he could easily find someone else when she’d broken up with him.

“I had no idea,” Lucy said. She wiped her eyes again. “I just knew that you’d been with a lot of girls. I wasn’t special, and I tried to be okay with that.”

“But youwerespecial.” Elliot shook his head again. “I loved you.” Suddenly, he realized that his tipsiness had caused him to say way too much. “Back then, I mean,” he added quickly. “Or, I thought I did.”

“Oh.” Lucy looked pale. “I… I didn’t know that.”

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