Page 15 of Knuckle's Dispute

Chapter Seven

Knuckles

PULLING INTO THE parkinglot of the clubhouse, I park my bike in the line with everyone else.The SUV with Janessa and the baby continues on toward the cabins where she’ll be staying.Marie is in front of her in her car so they know which one has been cleaned and stocked.Deep inside, I want to go to the cabin and see Janessa.It’s overwhelming to know she’ll have no lasting damage from the fire and emergency birth of her child.I don’t even know if she had a boy or a girl.Rooster and Marie know what she had, but they’re keeping everything tight lipped and won’t say a word to anyone.Getting off my bike, I stand and turn to face where the SUV has disappeared around the clubhouse.

“Go to her, Micah,” Tease says, walking up to me.“You want her more than your lettin’ on and it’s doin’ nothin’ but hurtin’ both of you.You don’t even know if you have a son or daughter.And yes, the baby is yours, Micah.We all believe Janessa.It’s time for you to believe in her and know she’s not tryin’ to trap your ass or lie to you.”

“I can’t, Tease.You know I don’t want an ol’ lady or kids in my life.It’s never been in the cards for me.I’ve seen the worst of life and have been through hell.We don’t know what Janessa’s been through, but she could be lookin’ to fuck with me and take me for everythin’ I have to give her before leavin’ me,” I state, believing this deep in my soul because it’s all I’ve ever seen in my life.

“You can.Janessa is a fully independent woman who hasn’t relied on any of us for a damn thing.She’s a successful lawyer with her own business.If she wants a man in her life, it’s because she likes him and wants to spend her time with him.Not because she’s tryin’ to force somethin’ that isn’t there or to play games.Janessa isn’t a fuckin’ Slayer Slit and you know this if you truly let yourself think of your situation with her.I suggest you figure this shit out quickly because her brothers will be here overnight and I heard Rooster has invited them over for a drink once Janessa’s settled in her cabin,” Tease informs me with a smirk on his face.“Heard they’re out for blood when it comes to you for how you’ve been treatin’ their sister.They’re extremely protective of her.”

“Fuck!That’s the last thing I need to deal with,” I grumble under my breath as Tease slaps a hand on my shoulder as he starts laughing his ass off.

“I’m gonna enjoy this shit.Watchin’ you get your ass beat because you’re a dumbass,” my best friend says, his voice full of the laughter he’s not bothering to cover up at my expense.

Together, we make our way in the clubhouse to find the common room full.Everyone is sitting around the room, drink in hand as I spot Seth with his arms full of food I know is going to Janessa’s cabin.The women have been cooking and baking up a storm in the kitchen for her.Marie is adamant Janessa doesn’t have to do too much as she recovers from surgery and having a newborn to take care of now.Everyone in the club has gone above and beyond to help her.They’ve bought everything possible for a new mom with a newborn to furnish the cabin.It might be sparsely furnished in every aspect except for when it comes to the baby.

“Headin’ to the cabin?”Tease asks Seth as he passes us and heads straight for the door to leave.

“Yeah.I’m gonna spend some time with Miss Janessa while her brothers come over here to talk to Rooster and a few guys.We’re gonna have dinner while they’re gone,” he answers with the largest smile on his face and I know he’s got a crush on our lawyer.

For the first time in my life, a strong surge of jealousy races through my body and my fists clench at my side so I don’t beat the shit out of the Prospect.The thought of him sitting down and having a meal with Janessa, just the two of them, in her cabin fills me with rage.I haven’t ever felt anything like this in my life and I don’t think I like how it feels to be jealous of someone.Especially when that guy is someone who will eventually become a brother.Seth will be patched in as a full member, there isn’t a doubt in my mind about that.There can’t be any tension between us so I need to figure this shit with Janessa out immediately.

“Have a good night, Seth,” Tease says, forcing me to walk to the bar to get a drink and away from Seth.

I watch him leave the clubhouse and know he’ll be spending time with Janessa on a daily basis.He wanted to ensure he was always watching over her before the fire happened and as soon as he woke up, Seth asked about Janessa.He wanted to get out of bed and rush to her side after failing to protect her.He was hit on the head with something and knocked the hell out.Kurt wasn’t much better.Though both men fought back, Kurt was hurt a little more than Seth.One of the assholes who was at her house that night stomped on Kurt’s hand and broke two of his fingers and sprained his wrist.

“Give us two beers,” Tease tells Karmen as she stands behind the bar with a smile on her face.

“Sure thing.Seems Seth is living the dream by getting to spend more time with Janessa.Heard he’s having dinner with her tonight.He’s been telling everyone who will listen,” Karmen says, her voice sounding as if she’s got more to spill but is holding back.

“I bet he is.Seth is a good man and will be there for Janessa if she lets him.I know he’s not the biological father, but I have a feelin’ he’ll step up and be there every single day without question.He seems to be half in love with her already and I know he’ll be loyal to her,” Tease responds, avoiding eye contact with me as he accepts the beer from Karmen and opens it while I grab mine from her and set it down in front of me.

“Of course he’ll be loyal to her.He’s been watchin’ over her for a while now and every single time he walks back in the clubhouse, Seth has the biggest smile on his face and rushes to get his work done so he can head back over to her house.I’ve never seen him like this before and he’s been with the club for almost a full year now.He’s ready to settle down and have a family of his own.I think the two of them will look good together,” Karmen adds on, resting her elbows on the bar as she talks to us with a dreamy smile on her face.

“Enough!”I yell, not wanting to hear another word from either of them as they discuss Janessa and Seth as if they’re already a couple.

Tease and Karmen burst out laughing their asses off at my expense once again.

“Come on, man.You’re my best friend and I know you can’t stop thinkin’ of Janessa.You haven’t touched another woman in forever and I know the Slayer Slits have been all over you.They’re pissed as fuck you’re done fuckin’ them and bitch to the rest of us every fuckin’ day.There’s only one reason a guy won’t touch a willin’ woman throwin’ herself at him.He’s in love with someone else and won’t betray her for any reason.Knuckles, you’re loyal to a fault and I know this is why you haven’t touched anyone else.You’re bein’ loyal to a woman you’ve pushed away and continue to ignore on a daily basis.Get your head outta your ass,” Tease states, his voice stern as he stares at me because I’m one of the few he’ll listen to.

“I’m not gonna do a fuckin’ thing, Tease.There’s nothin’ for me to do.Janessa hasn’t once reached out since that day she told me she was pregnant and the baby was mine.If she wanted anythin’ to do with me, she’d be here or would contact me,” I state as if he should know this information for himself instead of making up some scenario in his head about the two of us.

“No, she wouldn’t.You told her the baby wasn’t yours in front of people.Not only did you hurt her pride, but you embarrassed the hell outta her, Knuckles.Janessa won’t reach out first and she’ll do everythin’ in her power to stay as far from you as she can get.From what I hear, she didn’t want to stay in the cabins here because she doesn’t want you to feel some kind of way about the situation.That’s who she fuckin’ is and you’re fuckin’ everythin’ up,” Tease states before turning and walking away from me.“Besides, a simple paternity test will do amazin’ to tell whether or not you’re truly the baby’s dad.”

I let Tease’s words settle deep in my soul.He’s right.I did hurt Janessa in one of the worst ways possible.Even if I don’t believe the baby she just had is mine, I could have talked to her privately.Taken her to my room and talked the situation through instead of simply denying her in front of Rooster, Marie, Omen, and whoever else overheard us that day.Maybe I should talk to her about getting a paternity test done so I can prove to everyone here I’m not the baby’s father.I know it will hurt Janessa even more if I do that and show the results to everyone, but it will also mean I don’t have to keep getting lectured about not being around the baby.

With that thought in mind, I take a seat at the bar and drink the beer Karmen handed me after opening it.No one comes to sit next to me or try to have a conversation.I listen to the various murmured talks around the room and wonder if Janessa will be up for getting the test done.And what I’d honestly do if the baby is mine.Every single day more and more of me wonders what I’d do if the baby was mine.What it would be like to be responsible for every aspect of his or her life.If I’d be a good dad since I certainly didn’t have a good role model growing up.I can talk to Rooster, Omen, Homicide, and Brick about being a dad and what it means to be a good one, but that would mean opening up and letting them in more than I already have.Things I’ve never done before.Everyone gets the bare minimum from me and it’s always been that way.

“Where the fuck is he?”suddenly gets yelled through the clubhouse as my head snaps up to find Janessa’s brothers standing just inside the door of the clubhouse with Homicide next to them.

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