Page 17 of Knuckle's Dispute

Chapter Eight

Janessa

I’M DREADING TODAY.My brothers have to leave Frostford and go back home to their lives.They have work and whatever they do when they’re not working.All three of them are honestly manwhores and I yell at them constantly for it.Anyway, the last several days have been the best I’ve had in a very long time.Not once have I thought of Roger or his parents.I haven’t thought of the fire at my house or what the next steps are that I need to take.Honestly, Daniel has already handled most of it as far as the insurance goes.Once the fire department is done with their investigation into the fire, the insurance company will get a hold of me to let me know what the next steps are.For now, all I’ve been focusing on is Kaden and being there for him every single day.

My son is the best baby I’ve ever had the privilege to be around in my life.He rarely cries and when he does, it’s because he’s hungry or needs his diaper changed.My brothers have been hovering over him when they’re awake and grabbing him the second he starts to move a muscle or whimper as he wakes up.Other than feeding him, they haven’t let me do much with him.Aaron even wiped him down this morning since he can’t yet have a full bath.I honestly can’t wait to give him one.Every single time I get to experience something new with my son is one of the best moments of my life.

It's only when I climb into bed each night that I allow myself to break down and cry.I shed silent tears for everything Knuckles is missing out on.He wasn’t there to see his son born, hasn’t gotten to hold him in his arms, feed him, or anything else.When I found out I was pregnant, I never once believed Knuckles would be in my life as anything more than a co-parent.However, I thought he’d at least be in his son’s life.Be a dad to him and someone our child could look up to because he’s a good man.Instead, I’ll do this all alone and that’s okay.It doesn’t mean I’ll miss out on the chance for Kaden to have a dad in his life.

Still, I haven’t fooled my brothers.They see me when I get up with the baby, my face red and puffy from the tears I’ve shed.Each time they notice me, it doesn’t take a genius to see the rage filling them as they pull me into a hug and hold me for several moments before letting me take care of my son.I’ve already heard they beat the hell out of Knuckles and he didn’t once fight back.Knuckles took every single hit all three of my brothers threw his way and never once attempted to hit them back.

“Janessa, are you okay?”Aaron asks me, pulling me into his arms as soon as I walk out of my bedroom to find my brothers sitting around with Kaden in Joseph’s arms.

“I’m as okay as I can be.Today fucking sucks,” I pout, my head resting against Aaron’s chest as he holds me tight.

“I know, Nessa.We don’t wanna go back either.But, if we move here permanently, there are things we need to do back home before we can make that happen,” Daniel says, turning and facing me with a smile on his face.

“Wait.What are you talking about?You’re thinking of moving to Frostford?”I question my brothers as I look at them each to find them smiling in my direction while I step out of Aaron’s arms.

“We’ve been talking and think it’s a good idea to be here with you.We don’t know how long it will be before that fucking asswipe gets sentenced.There seems to be one delay after another.Plus, we know Barb and David are here and they aren’t gonna stop coming for you until they kill you.We still don’t have enough evidence to nail them and ensure they’re sent to prison.However, Brick is working on it behind the scenes,” Joseph answers me as he gently rocks Kaden in his arms.

“I can’t ask the three of you to go against Mom and Dad.Or uproot your entire lives to be closer to me.Rooster and the guys will take care of me and make sure no one gets close,” I return, tears filling my eyes with the thought of my brothers changing everything in order to be close to me.

“As long as you remain on the compound that is.We had a nice talk with Rooster when we were at the clubhouse yesterday.Met most of the guys and I’m glad you’ll have them at your back when we’re not here.You need to let them help you, Nessa.These men will do everything in their power to protect you.All you need to do is let them.Everything else we’ll figure out as it comes up.Our main concern is that Kaden and you are safe and no one can get close to you,” Daniel says, standing from the couch and making his way over to me.“Now, let’s get out of here for a while.We’re gonna take you to the bank so you can replace your card and then get some lunch.”

“Fine.But I’m making you three dinner before you take off tonight.We’ll have an early meal so you can get to the airport on time,” I say, turning to go in and get dressed while my brothers get Kaden ready to head out for a little while today.

***

After getting a newbank card and going out to lunch with my brothers, we’ve been relaxing back in the cabin before they have to leave for the airport.They’ve been getting in all the last minute cuddles with my son they can because they have no clue how long it will be before they can make it back to see us.I’m not saying a single word to them and only take my son away from them when he needs to eat.My brothers deserve this time with Kaden and I won’t take it from them.Especially as they take a million pictures of him to take him with them.

I’m in the kitchen with the music playing as I make stuffed shells for our dinner tonight.I’ve always loved them and my brothers devour them whenever I make these for dinner.

“Need any help, Sis?”Aaron asks, walking in the kitchen and leaning against the island.

“No.The shells are almost ready to go in the oven.Then I’ll make the salad and garlic bread to go with them.Dinner should be ready to go in about half an hour or so.Go get time in with Kaden while I finish up in here,” I tell him, my voice full of dread as I’m consumed by thoughts of my brothers leaving to go back home.Since our conversation this morning, I’ve been trying not to think of them leaving.

“Sis, I can practically read your thoughts.You’ve never been good at hiding your emotions and thoughts from the three of us.I can read you better than Dan or Joe.You don’t want us to leave you here.It’s not exactly like we wanna leave you, Nessa.Or Kaden.He’s our Little Man and we’re gonna miss both of you more than ever before.Seeing you become a mom and embrace your role has been simply amazing,” Aaron tells me, his voice a whisper as I look at him before moving to give him a much-needed hug.

“You’re right.I’m gonna miss you three more than ever before.This time with you has meant more to me than you’ll ever know.With my emotions all over the place like they are right now, I truly feel as if I’m losing you and won’t ever see you again.I know it’s irrational, but that’s where I’m at.Maybe it’s because I know Knuckles wants nothing to do with the baby or something,” I sob into his chest as Daniel and Joseph join our hug and hold me tight between the three of them.

For the first time today, they’ve put Kaden down as he sleeps comfortably in his bassinet.

“Okay.I gotta finish cooking.Go spend time with your nephew even though he’s sleeping.You’re gonna spoil him by holding him all the time even if he’s sleeping,” I tell them, my voice breaking on a sob as they release me from their hold and let me get back to making dinner.

Giving You Upby Kameron Marlowe comes across my speaker and I can’t stop the tears from falling down my face.Knuckles is someone I have to give up and stop thinking about.He’s never going to change his mind about the baby and that’s something I need to accept and let go of the dream.Kaden might not have a dad in his life, but I’ll make sure he has the best of everything and my brothers will give him everything a dad would.They can teach him how to be a man and do everything Knuckles should be doing.

“Not happening, Sis.You’re not listening to this sad music and crying over that piece of shit.He doesn’t deserve a single tear to leak from your eye or one single thought to flutter through your mind.Knuckles is a stupid fuck and we won’t watch you cry over him.Kaden and you deserve so much more than what he’s given you so far.What about Seth?He’s been here multiple times since we’ve been in town and I can see he likes you,” Daniel says, shutting my music off making the kitchen go eerily silent.

“Seth is a very good friend.I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to see him as more than that if I’m honest with myself.He’s helped me with Kaden and is always willing to do whatever it takes to protect me.It doesn’t mean I’m willing to risk my heart.Especially when I can’t seem to get Knuckles out of my head.Add in everything I went through with Roger.Shit I’m still going through and all it makes me believe is that I have horrendous taste in men and I refuse to add someone like Seth to the mix.I want him to remain in my life as friends rather than risk not having him around at all,” I tell my brother honestly as more tears fill my eyes.

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