Page 53 of Rise of the Morrigan

"And you know this warrior whose heart you pursue?"

"Besides," I said, ignoring his question. "What you say makes no sense at all. You'd defy the Dagda now when you were too cowardly to do so before?"

Doidrich smirked. "My love for you is on account of my love for power. And the Dagda is not here. Were you to succeed, your power would exceed that of the Dagda."

"And you'd be by my side... more powerful as my spouse than as the Dagda's lackey?"

"Precisely."

I rolled my eyes. "You're too late, you know. Even if I could ever imagine myself falling in love with you—which I should say is highly unlikely—I've set my heart on someone else. So why bring it up, now?"

Doidrich shrugged. "Many gods have been polygamous. Why shouldn't you? Just because a god or goddess does not fall out of love does not mean that the divine cannot love many humans at once?"

"And you'd be content to be my second love?" I huffed.

Doidrich laughed. "Of course, my goddess! After all, it is the power that moves my passions. Far be it from me to allow petty jealousy to interfere with my heart's desire."

"And you already wield the Dagda's power. That magic you used..."

"It is a gift from the Fae, not the Dagda."

"I have to go."

"Go? But time is stopped here. We have as much time as you're willing to offer."

"That's the problem, isn't it? I can barely stand conversing with you over the course of no time at all. And you expect me to love you for eternity?"

Doidrich chuckled. "I'll grow on you in time."

"Like a boil?"

Doidrich cocked his head. "Do youloveboils?"

I shook my head, turned, and left—allowing time to resume as I did.

Doidrich might genuinely love power, even the power I could give him. But to love someone for what they give you, for the power you acquire, as a result, is not love at all.

It was different when it came to my affection for Cú Chulainn. If he were to love me, I would gain great power. But such would be the case no matter what mortal I might have chosen to love. It wasn't about power for me. It wasn't merely my freedom from the Dagda, either. For, once again, I could attain that no matter whom I chose as the object of my adoration.

It was Cú Chulainn's complexity, his depth... the heart of warrior combined with the grace of a bard. He was complex. And as three mortals combined into one, so was I. I resonated with his struggle. A fate had been thrust upon him he didn't choose. And while a part of me enjoyed being a goddess... it wasn't my choice. As Babd, as Anand, and even as Macha I'd had hopes and dreams for what my life might become. But as a goddess... as an eternal creature who'd never die... what was there to hope for other thanescapingan eternity as the Dagda's wife?

I'd never love Doidrich. But encountering him forced me to consider the meaning of my existence. Was I bound to interject myself in wars forever, to guide the souls of the dead to rebirth when I would never die or have the opportunity to enter the cauldron myself?

The question made me feel like something of a fraud. I didn't want to die. And I wouldn't. But would there be a time when weary of my eternity I mightcravedeath itself? The chance to be reborn, to enter the cauldron, to start a new life with a degree of wisdom inherited from the life before, the chance to start anew, with a blank slate...

There is only one reason why one might not want toeverdie... and that if one is blessed to be in love and share their life with one who loves them in turn.

If I could not secure Cú Chulainn's love, what would become of me? Would I be destined to an eternity resenting the very dead whom I was meant to guide to the cauldron of rebirth? I shuddered at the thought...

I simply couldn't fail. Whatever it took to make the warrior love me, no matter the cost... that's what I'd have to do.

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