Page 36 of Blood Sweeter than Honey

“They were killed… in a home invasion.”

Holy fuck.

My body shifts toward her. I’m at a loss for words, and saying ‘sorry’ isn’t nearly sufficient. I give her leg a squeeze with the hand she placed on her thigh.

“Jesus Christ, sweetheart…”

She clears her throat and looks down at her food as though it might rescue her from whatever buried memories this conversation is exhuming.

“It was a long time ago.”

“How old were you? And where were you when it happened?”

Her expression is as blank as her voice. Like I’ve asked her about the weather. “Twenty. I was there.”

Yet again, I’m forced to swallow back this foreign emotion welling up inside me. I shouldn’t ask… I know I shouldn’t. But I wanna know every last detail about this woman and her past.

At the tension carving every feature on my face, Winnow forces a smile on hers. “I’m ok, now. Don’t worry.”

“You saw it happen?”

She nods, eyes falling back to her mostly empty plate. Winnow takes her last bite, and I can see by the look in her face that after this conversation, the food probably tastes like ash.

“Did they hurt you?’

Eyes glued to the table, her throat works, and she gives another nod.

The image of her nude form in my bed last night and the patchwork of scars on her back fills my mind. I wanna coax more information out of her—namely so I can fucking murder whoever did this to her.

“I’m sorry. I know that’s a lot.”

My heart is pounding so loudly I can hear it echo in my ears, but I manage to gentle my words. My blood feels like it’s boiling over with rage, but I’m intimately familiar with violent trauma… and I know that if I try to make her talk about it, there could be detrimental repercussions. If she wants to tell me, she will, one day, when I’ve earned the privilege of becoming a confidant for her.

“Angel, I wanna know these things. I wanna know everything there is to know about you.”

And the words are out—a tiny fragment of my heart and its intentions—before I can think better of them.

“I wanna be good to you, Winnow. In whatever way you’ll allow me.”

Her chewing slows before she swallows. The sound is thick and audible, and when her gaze finally slides to mine, it’s glistening again with tears.

The sight inspires me to make a silent vow to put smiles on this woman’s face, every single day, and that whatever tears she gives me are ones filled with joy, laughter, or healing catharsis.

A corner of her mouth curls in a watery grin.

“The feeling is mutual.”

Will you still feel that way when I reveal all of myself to you?

Guilt is a boulder in the pit of my stomach.

I send a silent prayer to any God that will listen, if there is such a thing, for this woman to love me despite my past, my shame, and my faults…

Only time will tell, and I’m going to spend every moment of it, for as long as Winnow will have me, proving to her that there isn’t a fire or flood I wouldn’t walk through, nor blood I wouldn’t spill, to be what she needs.

WINNOW

After heaping a mountain of rice, finely chopped mixed vegetables, and ground turkey meat into a large silver bowl, Gideon lets Trigger out the back door to eat on the porch. It’s been a long time since I’ve dredged up those memories. Without even telling him half the shit I went through, I have to focus on my breaths to not let dread consume me. Even though I barely know this man or his home, something deep in my soul feelsrightjust being near him, and I can’t help but fear that all of it will be ripped away.

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