Page 115 of The Only Heart that Matters

“I can’t do this anymore.”

My beleaguered heart sinks and the tears I fought earlier beg to fall, but I can do anything for Sawyer and that includes not crying in front of my coworkers. I blink them back and drop my gaze once again.

Sliding his fingers through mine, he moves us off the dance floor to an empty corner of the bar. He drops my hand and reaches out to touch my face, but I take a step away. The touch that once brought me comfort and pleasure, is too much now. Each touch brands me, leaving me scarred. People move around us, but I don’t see their faces. The music is nothing more than white noise. Our surroundings blur as I wait for him to tell me all the reasons he’s done with me.

Closing the distance between us, he takes my hand in his once again, and I brace myself. “Mia, there’s nothing fake about the way I feel about you and Sawyer. I want... no... I need this to be real.”

“What?” I whisper, not sure I heard him correctly.

“The last two weeks have been fucking awful. I’m sorry for going quiet for so long, but I needed the time to sort through the mess in my head. I talked to Dr. Laughlin. I talked to Mom. And I missed you.”

My body stills, fear consuming me.

“You told your mom?”

“Don’t worry. I didn’t tell her about Knox. It’s not my story to tell. But she knows how I feel about you.”

My body sags in relief but doubt still has a firm grip on my heart.

“And... You... You still want to be with me? Even though...”

I’m as confused as I’m sure I sound, because how could he still want me?

He lifts my chin with his forefinger and kisses me as though I’m precious to him.

“Of course I do,” he says against my lips. Then, pulling back, his caramel eyes meet mine and he picks up the pieces of my heart, patching it back together with his words. “Loving you is like living on the sun. Trying to exist without you is like existing in the dark. And God, do I need to be blinded by your light. I need you like I need my next breath. My next heartbeat.”

The tears I’ve been fighting for two weeks finally get their way as they stream down my face, dripping off my jaw. Someone must have spiked my beer, because none of this makes sense.

“Happy tears?”

I nod. My body shaking from the sobs overtaking my body.

Wrapping me in his arms, he turns me so I’m facing the corner, giving me privacy. “Deep breaths, baby. I got you.”

Angus McKinnon loves me. This can’t be my life.

His words, the warmth of his embrace, his manly citrus scent, everything about him settles me. My surroundings become clear again. The song playing is recognizable, but who knows what it is. My sobs subside.

“Is this real?” I ask, needing confirmation I heard him correctly.

His mouth lifts on one side, igniting the fire low in my belly that always roars to life when he aims his smile in my direction. Even though I’m drowning in a melting pot of emotions, he strokes the passion inside me.

“As a heart attack. I want to make this work between us. If you’ll have me?”

All I can do is smile up at him.

“The thing is, we can’t be anusuntil Knox knows.”

And there it is. The other shoe has dropped. I knew this was coming, but still ice infiltrates my veins at the mere thought, diminishing the abundant joy from a moment ago. My tears dry instantly.

“Goof, we have to tell him. I’ll be by your side every step of the way, but we can’t do this if the truth isn’t out there.”

“I know.”

He’s right. I know he’s right, but it’s still my worst nightmare coming true.

“Babe, I need you to know it won’t be easy for me either. I want nothing more than for Sawyer to be mine and I hope you know that Uncle or Dad, I couldn’t love that kid more.”

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