Page 17 of The Only Heart that Matters

Clearing my throat, I step away from them and walk toward the front porch. They follow, leaving my siblings to start the unloading process. They’re adults, they don’t need me to tell them what to do next. And I’d like the next minute or two to ourselves.

When we step into the family room, Mia gasps. “Angus, it’s beautiful.” Her hand covers her mouth for a beat, before worry takes over her face. “I can’t believe you are letting us hijack your Christmas. Look at your tree. It’s huge.”

My face burns, and for the first time in years, I feel myself blushing. Damn, this is unexpected. So, I did something nice for them. It’s no big deal. There’s no need to be embarrassed, but I am. It may just be a tree, albeit a big ten-foot tree that draws your attention to the wood beams that run along the vaulted ceiling, but it feels like my holiday gesture is much more than that. It’s like I’m telling her how I feel about her without really saying a thing.

“It’s yours. You're moving in on Christmas Eve. Santa comes tonight. We had to make sure there was a tree for him to leave gifts under.”

She moves to the fireplace. “And stockings. With our names on them. Angus, you’ve done way too much.”

“No... um... I... Well...”Pull yourself together, McKinnon!“I just wasn’t sure if you’d have time to unpack all your Christmas gear. Figured better safe than sorry. Besides, the tree only has lights and the star on it. I didn’t have time to decorate it, but feel free to add whatever you want to it. It’s yours.”

She faces me again. “Angus, I don’t?—”

I cut her off, knowing the others will walk through the door with boxes any second. “Look at him.” My gaze drops to a beaming Sawyer who is leaning to get out of her arms as he reaches for the lights on the tree that sparkle in his eye. “This is why I did it.” I didn’t mean to say that last part out loud, but Sawyer’s joy is fucking contagious. He deserves a good Christmas. So does she.

Her mouth snaps closed. She turns back to the tree and her eyes turn a little watery. “Thank you. It’s beautiful.”

Time to change the subject. “So, I figured you want him to have the room closest to yours. I hope that’s okay?”

“Of course.”

“Okay, well, you also said you were going to move him to a toddler bed and, well, it is Christmas Eve.”

“Angus, what did you do?”

“Well... I sort of...” Opening the door so they can see for themselves, I step out of the way. “Merry Christmas, Sawyer.”

“Vroom truck! Vroom Truck!” Sawyer yells with excitement, squirming to get out of his mom’s arms.

She takes a couple of steps into the room, then sets him down, keeping her back to me. I can’t read her expression, but when her hands go to her face, I worry I may have overstepped.

In addition to a fire truck toddler bed, I’ve decked the room out with everything trucks and dinosaurs that I could find in two days’ time. There is a rug in the center of the room that looks like a small town with roads he can drive his trucks and cars on. A big stuffed dinosaur takes up one corner next to a little table and chair. A small dresser and a toy storage bin set that may or may not already be filled with toys.

“Listen, if you don’t like it, just let me know. It’s no problem. I can return whatever you don’t like.”

With her back still to me, her head slowly moves back and forth.

I start to panic. “If he isn’t ready for the big boy bed just yet, there is still plenty of room for his crib.”

“Vroom,” Sawyer says from the floor, still in his winter coat, where he’s playing with the fire truck he found next to the dinosaur.

His mom still hasn’t said a word.

“Hey,” I say, taking a step into the room behind her, doing my best to ignore the awkward tension. “Did I mess up?”

She finally turns in my direction and there are tears streaming down her face. “No.”

“Why…” My gaze drops to her wet cheeks. I shove my hands in my pockets to quell the urge to wipe the tears from her face. I’m already pushing the limits of our friendship, and I don’t want to fuck this up. “What’s wrong, then?”

“Angus, you didn’t have to do this. First, the tree and the stockings. Now this. It’s too much.”

“It’s not. Look at him.” I point to the floor where he’s playing, having the time of his life. “Besides, it’s Christmas.”

“You’ve already moved out of your house. I’d say you’ve already done plenty. This must have cost you a fortune. How much do I owe you?”

The mere idea of her thinking she has to pay me back pisses me off.

Sawyer climbs into his fire truck bed and makes his version of a siren sound. “That right there is all I want in return. Seeing him happy.”

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