Page 24 of The Only Heart that Matters

For fun, Callen and Charlotte made each of the paired-up couples pose for photos like we were going to prom. It was supposed to be funny, and I suppose it was, but having Mia in my arms, my hands on her hips. It was no laughing matter.

There was nothing funny about it at all.

As if the fleeting touches weren’t blissfully painful enough, considering they’ll never be the real thing, that was just the beginning. I’ve had to watch her make conversation with Mark all night. Just like Callen and Daisy are trying to set me up with Karissa, they think Mark is a perfect match for Mia. I used to think my brother and sister were smart people, but they don’t have a clue what they’re doing because there is no way Mark is the man for her.

“Karissa,” Callen says, bringing me back to the present. “What do you think?”

“She’s nice enough, but I don’t think she’s my type.”

“Since when do you have a type?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Well, the parade of women going in and out of your apartment would lead me to believe your only type is female.”

“Whatever. It’s not a crime to not want to get tied down. Besides, what’s wrong with trying out the sample pack life throws at you?”

I’m making light of the truth that he's slinging my way, but only because he’s right. I bury myself in one-night standsbecause there’s only one woman I want the real deal with. But big brother doesn’t need to know that.

“Nothing wrong with it. Just saying I didn’t know you had a type.”

“Well, now you know.”

She’s five foot three, with the brightest blue eyes you’ll ever see. Her long dark waves are striking against her pale skin and the formfitting navy dress she’s wearing tonight makes it hard for me to breathe. She and my sister have matching tattoos of a tiny star constellation on the inside of their left wrists and her laugh, when aimed at you... well, it will fill even the coldest, darkest soul with a peaceful light that warms you from the inside out.

And right now, that laugh is being aimed at someone else and it’s eating away at my cold, dark soul instead of lighting it up like it usually does.

Mark, the lawyer from L.A., whose bank account balance likely has seven or more digits in it and who even I can admit is moderately attractive, has said something that has genuinely made her laugh. Not a courtesy laugh, but an honest-to-goodness hold on to your sides laugh. And doesn’t that fucking suck?

“C’mon, man. Just talk to her. She’s great.”

“I have talked to her. How could I not, when you sat her right next to me at dinner?”

“You haven’t had a serious relationship since you came home. It’s been ten years, Gus. I’m sorry if I want to see you happy.”

Giving my brother’s shoulder a squeeze, I take a deep breath and sling him more bullshit. “I know you do. And I appreciate it, but for now, I’m happy with the way my life is going. Besides, tonight is all about you and your blushing bride.”

I point to where Charlotte is talking to Knox. When they see us looking, they hold up their glasses from across the room.

“Is it me, or is it strange to see him back home?” Callen asks.

I think about what he’s saying, and he’s right. Knox, being one of the biggest rock stars in the world, doesn’t come home often. His life is either on the road, in Los Angeles or in New York. He had outgrown our little town before he ever left it. He wanted more. And he sure as hell got what he was looking for.

Always the tallest, most handsome guy in the room. He was the only one of us boys who grew his hair out and went through that angry, rebellious teenage phase. He’s the king of his own little universe, but whenever we need our big brother, he never fails us.

“It is. But, thanks to you, he didn’t just fly in and fly out for the holiday. It’s got to be killing him to be here for a week straight. Christmas, the wedding, and New Year’s all in one trip. You know he’s itching to get on that private jet of his as soon as he can. I’ve never understood why he wanted out of this town so badly. You couldn't pay me to trade small town living for his life of fame and lack of privacy.”

“Yeah, but that’s him,” Callen shrugs. “He feeds off the chaos.”

And I avoid it at all costs.

There was enough chaos during my six and a half years in the military. Enough to last me a lifetime.

Originally enlisting for four years, I extended for two more when Chris did. There was no way I’d leave him behind. Our six years were up, and it was finally time to come home, we were in so deep the brass basically forced us to stay six months past our contract. It was safer to stay than try to leave. Or so they said. What it really meant was six more months watching families torn apart by war and seeing more people than I like toremember lose their lives. I may have made it out alive, but a piece of me is still over there with my brothers. With Chris.

Owning a bar and all that comes with it is as much drama as I need, and trust me, it comes with plenty.

“Here you go, boss.”

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