Page 46 of The Only Heart that Matters

If I don’t get up right now, I never will, and I promised her one night. So, against everything my body and heart want, I do the right thing and peel my body from hers, our skin sticking together. She scoots to sit against the headboard of my bed, pulling the sheet up to her chest, and watches me dress.

God, seeing her in my bed, my room, my house… it’s overwhelming. Her rosy morning cheeks, mussed hair, and exposed skin teases me more than ever now that I’ve memorized every inch of her body. Seeing her like this messes with my head, because it’s all I’ve ever wanted and the one thing I can never truly have.

I am so fucking fucked.

Leaving her is the last thing I want to do, but her parents don’t need to see me making the walk of shame or find her naked in my bed the day they move to the other side of the country.

One night.

That’s all this was.

At the bedroom door, I take one last look at her, instantly wishing I hadn’t. Because fuck me, if the sight of her teary-eyed in my bed watching me walk away from her doesn’t bring years of repressed longing to the surface. Something I’ve never given myself permission to feel with anyone.

Her tears confirm this can’t happen again, because it already hurts too much. I don’t know what to say. This isn’t goodbye, because I’ll see her again. And again. Just never in this capacity.

She whimpers, my name a whisper on her lips. It awakens something deep inside me that lay dormant until my first taste of her. A possessiveness I’ve never felt for another woman screams at me to go back to her. Dry her tears. Console her. Claim her again.

For both our sakes, I do the opposite, leaving her in my bed crying as the organ beating inside my chest fractures.

Racing out of the house, I climb into my truck, chest heaving as if I just ran a 10k. As I leaned in to kiss her last night, I told myself I’d take this one shot and then shut my heart down for good.

How could I have been so fucking stupid?

Taking that one shot was supposed to get her out of my system, but it only cemented her even deeper into my soul.

We had our moment.

It was beautiful.

She was beautiful.

And even though she has my heart, it’s over.

It has to be.

Chapter Twenty

Mia

My head is as much of a jumbled mess as my heart this morning.

After Angus left me crying in his bed, I crumbled. I buried my face in the pillow that smelled like him and sobbed.He left without a word, but he didn’t need to say anything. Everything he felt was written on his face.

He was just as conflicted as me, knowing last night shouldn’t have happened, but he wouldn’t take it back. Neither of us could regret something so beautiful.

Angus McKinnon didn’t just want me, he truly saw me.

Flaws and all, he still wanted me.

He worshiped me. Made me feel beautiful. Made me feel comfortable in my own skin, something I wasn’t sure I would ever feel again.

Outside the barn, when he touched me, I thought maybe I was hallucinating. But then his lips met mine, and I have never felt more alive. It felt like existing in a dream state, yet I’d neverbeen more grounded. His kiss, his hands roaming my body, it all felt like we were made for each other.

Nothing had ever felt more right.

Of course, my insecurities had to rear their ugly head, but Angus didn’t let them win. Didn’t let them ruin the most meaningful night of my life.

He’s wanted me all these years.

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