Page 83 of The Only Heart that Matters

Angus

Stop. I’ll see you when you get home.

Our text conversation ended over four hours ago, yet it’s lived rent-free in my head ever since. So, when Sawyer and I pull up tothe house and find Angus’s pickup parked out front, my insides twist and I break out into a cold sweat.

I can’t do this.

I cannot live with Angus McKinnon.

Not after our night at the hotel. Having my heart involved with this man isn’t new, but it feels more fragile than ever. Like it may shatter into a million pieces if I’m not careful.

Stepping out of the car, into the chilly evening air, I take a deep fortifying breath before I open the back door to get my baby boy out of his car seat.

“Come on, my tired little man,” I say, pressing a kiss on his fuzzy winter hat on our way up the porch steps. “I love you, my sweet boy.”

“Wuv you, Mama,” he says with a sleepy voice.

My steps stutter and the part of my heart reserved only for the boy in my arms swells. There’s no stopping the tears that fall as I open the front door and am hit with the smell of something delicious coming from the kitchen.

I drop my purse and Sawyer’s backpack on the floor to wipe my tears away.

Angus’s deep voice startles me. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Did something happen to Sawyer at day care?”

“Gus?” Sawyer lifts his head, instantly reaching for the concerned man who’s now standing far too close.

Angus takes Sawyer from me, only adding to my emotional state. It’s too much. Seeing the two of them together is already breaking my heart.

“Mia, please.” He sounds desperate. “Who did this to you?”

I can barely see him through the pools in my eyes, but there’s no hiding the concern in his voice. It’s apparent he thinks someone has hurt me and wants to come to my rescue.

Pointing to Sawyer, I can’t help but chuckle through my sobbing. “He did.”

“What do you mean, Goof?”

“Mama, no cry,” Sawyer says from Gus’s arms.

“Babe, please tell me what’s wrong?” He takes a step closer, bending to look me in the eye.

Babe?

Nope.

Not gonna address that at the moment.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

“He told me he loved me for the first time,” I blubber.

Angus’s face lights as he smiles from ear to ear. Closing the gap between us, he presses his forehead against mine. Sawyer wraps an arm around each of our necks. “Good job, buddy.”

Angus doesn’t kiss me, but the moment is more intimate than it could ever be with his lips on mine, because it’s the three of us. The two men in my life. He may not be mine, but Angus is incredibly important to me. He always has been.

Sharing this sweet moment with him means the world to me. Moments like this are what I dream about, but what I’m most afraid of is that too many moments like this will turn into a living nightmare in the end.

This is dangerous.

Space. We need space.

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