Page 91 of The Only Heart that Matters

Unsure how to start the conversation I decide to get right to it. Whispering, I finally risk it all. “You know, I talked to my therapist about you today.”

Her eyes go wide. “You did?”

“I did. It wasn’t the first time either.”

I take two steps. I’m only a couple of feet from her now.

“Is our being here causing you stress? Anxiety? If so, I can figure something else out,” she whispers. “I’m so sorry.”

Her eyes are wild. As close as I am, I can see them growing glossy with tears. This is not how I wanted this to go.

“On the contrary.” I can’t help but reach out and take her hand in mine. “I told her how happy I’ve been since the day I became your husband.”

“Angus...” she breathes on a gasp.

“You and this little guy make me want to be a better man.”

A tear escapes down her cheek, and I wipe it away with my thumb.

“Angus... I can’t. You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I’m done making excuses, Mia.” She tries to pull her hand out of my grasp. I don’t let her. “I know you think the secrets you keep will make me feel differently about you, but I’m not sure that could ever be true. But as much as I want you, there is something I need to share with you first. I need you to know everything. And after, if you want to share your secrets with me, fine. If not, that’s also fine.”

“I don’t deserve your secrets.”

“Why? What could be so bad, Mia? Why won’t you trust me enough to give me a chance to make that decision for myself?”

“I do trust you, but you need to trust me, too. Trust me to know that you would never see me the same again. You would hate me.”

Closing the gap between us, I use my free hand to wipe away the tears streaming down her face. “Come on. Let’s go talk.”

“I can’t. I just can’t.”

Pulling away from my touch, she strides past me into the hallway, leaving me in the middle of Sawyer’s room with an ache in my gut. It hurts but doesn’t deter me. I’ll give her time, but I won’t give up.

Her, bedroom door clicks shut, leaving me to watch Sawyer sleep. God, it feels good to have this kid under my roof. In his room, right here where he belongs.

Chapter Thirty-Four

Mia

“Mia, thanks for staying late. I know it’s not ideal. But Dr. Rivers urgently needs to be seen tonight and I need you to run an IV while I run tests. He has patients until we close, so after hours it will have to be.”

“Of course, I completely understand. I know it’s hard for doctors to take care of themselves when they take care of everyone else all day. I just need to make arrangements for Sawyer.”

“Well, go take a break and call that hubby of yours.” She walks away from the nurses' station. “Thanks again.”

Shit.

It’s been three nights since Angus declared he was through making excuses. Since then, he’s been like he’s always been. Perfect. He hasn’t mentioned our 2am conversation, but he has cooked dinner every night. We eat together and then he goes to the bar for two or three hours and is back before I’m in bed.

When he gets home, we talk and watch old episodes ofFriends. We’ve started from episode one and I hate knowing we won’t get to spend this time together long enough to make it to episode 234.

He’s giving me space, yet things are different. Casual touches when we’re moving around the house, goodnight kisses on the cheek and don’t get me started on how wet I get every time he calls me babe. He’s not pushing, but he’s not holding back either.

Realistically, I know he won’t mind picking Sawyer up. If I know Angus, it will make his day. I’ve never seen him as happy as when he’s doing all the domestic daily activities that come with sharing a home with the two of us. Still, it’s not his problem. He’s running a business, he has a life, but he’s my only option.

I would rather text him, because every time he says my name with that deep gravely voice, be it my actual name or my childhood nickname, I let my guard down, forgetting the reality of our situation. However, this favor deserves more than a text.

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