Page 127 of The Only Thing That's Real

“Glad to hear it,” Gus replies quietly before stepping back. “Hey, I’ve only got a second, but I saw your truck in the lot and wanted to catch you. See if you want to stop by the bar tonight. Daisy and Owen are gonna be there around eight, if you and Ryan want to join.”

God, I want to, but I also want to stay as hidden as possible. Coming to the store today was a test. I’m not sure I’d give myself a passing grade after my chat with Livvy, but it’s a start.

She’s right, I don’t exactly blend in. But, if I plan onstaying here, I need to expand my horizons. My brother’s bar seems like a safe place to start.

“I’ll talk to Ryan, but I can’t see why that wouldn’t work.”

“Perfect. Listen, I have to meet the beer guy at The House, so I have to run. Glad I caught you, big bro. It’s good to see you in town. Even better to see you at the store. See you tonight.”

“I’ll walk out with you. See ya later, Livvy.”

Before Gus gets in his truck I ask, “How’s Sawyer?”

Did he sleep well last night? What did he have for breakfast? How’s the potty training going? When do I get to see him again?

“He’s good. He keeps asking when he gets to go ride with Papa Knox.”

Holy shit. He’s thinking about me.

Wants to see me again.

Shit, a toddler has me all a flutter.

“Really?”

“Not sure where the papa thing came from, though.”

“That was me. Something I was trying out.”

Angus looks at me, nothing but sincerity in his eyes. “You good with that?”

“All around the world kids call their dads Papa. I figure we can both be dad this way. It’s gonna take some getting used to. Hell, being home is an adjustment, let alone sharing dad duties with my brother. I know it will work itself out, though.”

“I don’t know what to say. I’m not sure I would be as cool about all of this if it was me.”

“It’s not about us, Gus.”

He won’t grow up feeling like Ryan did. Uncomfortable in his own home. Never.

“But I’m not his parent. You are.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it. We got this. We’re gonna work it out. Now go meet your beer guy. You don’t want Owen and I to drink you dry tonight.”

A little dumbfounded, Angus doesn’t move for a few heartbeats, before opening his truck door. “I’m really glad you’re home.”

“Me too,” I say and mean it.

He hops into the cab of the truck. “See you tonight.” He closes the door and drives away.

It’s hot as hell out but I feel like a walk. Another little test to see how well I blend in. I might even stop by the coffee shop and say hi to Ryan and her sister. She took off early this morning to help Rebecca, because one of her employees is on vacation. Ryan’s working for free because she loves the one-on-one time with her sister. Even if they’re busy and don’t get to talk much, it’s good for them to be together.

Pulling my sunglasses on, I stroll one block down to the new bookstore that’s taken the place of the old law office that was here before it. I have a blast shopping for soft baby books for Grace and some of my favorite bedtime classics to start a collection for Sawyer’s room.Goodnight Moon, Brown Bear, Where the Wild Things Are,andCharlotte’s Web.Someare much too old for him but might as well start his library now.

The woman at the register doesn’t seem to recognize me. I leave the bookstore with my canvas bag full of stories, take a deep breath and feel safe for the first time in a long time. Strolling along Main Street, I stop short of going into the coffee shop when I see the two sistersbehind the counter laughing hysterically about something. I don’t dare interrupt this rare moment for them, so I keep on walking, pure happiness in my heart.

To see Ryan happy is like a salve to my once aching soul. I try not to worry that I won’t be enough to keep her content.

Is wanting her to move back to our hometown that we both desperately ran away from too much to ask of her?

---