Page 79 of The Only Thing That's Real

“It is what it is, but thanks.”

“Well, let me deal with this cow and your horses and then I’ll head to the cabin. I’ll text you the updated alarm code after I change it.”

“Thanks, man. I’m gonna let Daisy know about Mr. Jameson and ask her to pick up some groceries for Ry. Send her the code too, yeah?”

“Sounds good.”

“Thanks. You’re a lifesaver. I owe you big time.”

“Talk soon.”

I’m a lucky bastard to have a support system like I do. It’s time for me to get home and do the same for them.

Pulling up the airline info for Ryan’s flight, I spend the next five hours watching the plane icon every chance I get as it crosses the country, putting her 2400 miles away from me.

Chapter Forty-One

Ryan

“Amen,” we all whisper in unison.

Mom, Dad, Becks, and I are huddled over Pops. One of my hands is wrapped around my grandfather’s, the other holds my sister’s hand.

Rebecca brought me directly to his bedside, where we joined our parents. Mom hugged me when I arrived, but Dad hasn’t spoken to me, which is fine. However, it feels incredibly false for a man so full of hate to pray over a man so full of love. I don’t know this gentle side of him, but I’m grateful for it in this moment.

As if the prayer was what he needed, my grandfather opens his eyes for the first time since I arrived. He looks right at me, and I squeeze his hand and tell him we’re all here and it’s okay for him to go be with his love. Just as a tear fallsdown my face, one trails down his. He takes one more breath and then he’s gone.

The four of us sit in silence.

Looking over the body of the man we all loved so much, I see my father in a different light. Right now, he isn’t my parent. He’s a son who has lost his father. The man he looked up to his entire life. There is nothing false about the pain on his face or the sorrow in his eyes. Both of his parents are gone, and he looks a little lost. My heart breaks for him. Regardless of his feelings for me, he is still a person who loves and has lost once again. When I look at it this way, he’s not only lost his parents, but years ago he lost what he thought was his little girl, too.

It’s two in the morning when I finally get to the cabin. I thought I might be scared to stay here alone, but Cal left on the outdoor lights and a couple of inside lights for me. Fresh towels have been laid out in the bathroom, and the fridge stocked with the essentials, including some of my favorites. Knox had said he would have Cal get the cabin ready for me, but they’ve gone above and beyond.

Yes, I’ve been to the cabin once before for a quick bathroom break with Daisy but I didn’t look around. Tonight, I take in the small space and imagine Knox here with me. He must fill this small cabin with his larger-than-life presence the same way he does my apartment. The space is made up of two bedrooms, one bath, a simple living room, and small kitchen with a good-sized breakfast table. There’s afireplace that in the winter would definitely add to the ambiance of the quaint home, but there’s no need for it in August.

I love everything about the home. It’s simple, not overly decorated, and my mind races with ideas to make it homier if Knox decides to put down roots in Goose Hollow.

I know it’s nearly four am in New York, but when I messaged him after my plane landed, he made me promise to text when I got to the cabin, no matter the time.

Ryan

He’s gone. But I made it in time.

Ryan

Thank you for everything.

Ryan

I miss you.

My phone rings two seconds after my last text.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” I ask when I answer his call.

“Can’t sleep without you anymore. How are you?”

“I’m okay.”

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