Page 81 of The Only Thing That's Real

“Good, I’m glad you’re not staying inside on such a beautiful day.”

“It’s a perfect day for riding. Days like today I miss Sugar. Yes, I know she was a horse, but I told her everything. She filled the role of my therapist when I was growing up and I have to get through losing Pops without her. It does help to know Pops is in a better place, reunited with grandma. It still hurts, but I’m happy he’s at peace and they’re together. Even so, it feels disrespectful to wish I was riding and that I’m getting ice cream with Daisy.”

When she talks about her grandfather being in a better place because he’s reunited with the love of his life, I understand what she’s saying. I’m pretty sure Ryan is that person for me, because after a few weeks being without her even a day sucks ass.

“It’s not disrespectful, Ryan. If riding would help you get through this tough time, I know a place. I can call Cal if you want.”

“No, Cal has enough going on. Besides, it feels a little too soon for me to be at your mom’s ranch without you, but thanks. I’m gonna take today for myself. After ice cream, I plan to spend the rest of the day at the cabin. A book and your porch swing will do just fine.”

“Sounds perfect. But if you change your mind, let me know. And Ry?”

“Yeah?”

“I know I’m not Sugar, but if you need someone to talk to, you’ve got me.”

I’m desperate to be there for her somehow. Being on the other side of the country doesn’t sit right with me.

But when her reply to me filling in for Sugaris glassy eyes that she covers with her shades, my chest tightens and I try another tactic.

“So, what’s on the schedule after today’s date with my porch swing?”

She smiles and I can breathe again.

“Tomorrow, Becks and I have to pack Pop’s room and prep for the service on Friday.”

“How’s it been with your parents?”

She shrugs. “It is what it is.” She waves at someone. “Hey, come here!”

My sister’s head pops into frame, and she grins at me. “Figured it’d be you. I knew I was right.”

“Hello to you too, Dais.”

I’d expect nothing less of my sister than to throw it in my face that she knew I was full of shit when I said I wasn’t into Ryan. I wasn’t ready then, but now I don’t care if everyone knows.

“Listen, I have a meeting in forty minutes, so you lovebirds will have to chat later. We have ice cream to eat.”

Ryan’s face slides back into the frame. “Call me tonight after the gala. I can’t wait to hear all about it.”

“Will do.”

She looks at me like she doesn’t want to hang up, but Daisy is giving her crap in the background. She laughs and then blows me a kiss before the screen goes dark.

I hate to end our call, but it soothes my soul to hear her laugh.

To know she’s going back to the cabin to read on my porch.

The same place that has brought me solace over the years.

Chapter Forty-Three

Ryan

Knox

when I was a kid I wanted to be a football coach

Ryan

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