“Just a moment,” Theo said distractedly. “I’m deciding if I want the blue tie or the green and silver one...”
I scanned the two ties lying on the bed with interest and skipped up to them.
“This one!” I said, grabbing the pretty green and silver tie. “Let me put it on you...”
“Vic, don’t—”
“It’s not a good idea—”
Tristan and Matthias’ voices rang out simultaneously as I took a step towards Theo and, instead of his normal smile, I saw fear on his face.
I froze as Theo stumbled back, away from me, his breathing fast and unsteady.
“What...?” I asked in confusion, concern growing in my mind as Theo’s back hit his wardrobe and he slid to the floor.
“Matthias, please escort Victoria out,” Tristan said calmly.
“Oh shit, yeah,” Matthias said and tugged at my elbow.
I was lost but I let myself be led out.
“Is Theo all right?” I asked once Matthias sat me down in the kitchen and proceeded to make tea.
“He has not been all right for a long time,” Matthias said mournfully. “It’s better now, so much better than years ago, but he still has his triggers.”
“The tie...?” I asked, looking at the fabric I was still clutching in my hand. But even as I asked the question I knew that wasn’t the answer. Theo was calm when he was choosing between the two ties so that alone wasn’t enough to trigger such a reaction. I knew it was likely something connected to Theo’s father being an abusive piece of shit but I didn’t know all the details about that situation.
“He hates anyone choosing what he should wear,” Matthias explained. “And actually trying to put clothes on him gets you the reaction you saw.”
“Oh,” I said quietly. “I didn’t mean to...”
“We know,” Tristan’s voice piped up from the doorway and I snapped my head up. “Theo knows that too.”
“Shouldn’t you be with him? Will he be all right all alone?” I blurted out, my fingers digging into the soft fabric of the tie in a nervous gesture.
“He asked for some space. And for me to explain things to you.”
Tristan sat next to me and, with a mug of hot tea Matthias prepared in my hands, I listened to Theo’s story. My heart broke, then the pieces were stomped on and ground to dust. The youngest vampire had suffered so much. I wanted to scoop him up and bundle him up until he was soft and cozy, cuddling in bed with me.
No, I corrected myself in my mind,I want to invite him into that cozy nest, to give him a choice because he needs that, to have his independence respected, more than softness.
The next day, when Theo and I saw each other at breakfast, I was opening my mouth to apologize but Theo spoke first.
“I’m sorry we missed our dinner date because of me.”
“What?” I blinked at him. “No, Theo, that wasn’t your fault! I don’t care about the dinner, your well-being is more important.”
He slumped in his chair, a picture of misery.
“I’m just tired of inconveniencing others, inconveniencingmyself,with this bullshit. I hate that, even now, when my bastard of a father is six feet under, he still affects my life so much,” Theo said. I didn’t know what to say to make it better so I just made a soft noise, to signal I was listening. “You know, once upon a time being dressed by someone who loved me was a wonderful experience. Why do I have to lose this forever?” He raised his eyes to mine. “I want you to dress me, or for me to dress you, and not be scared of that.”
He wanted to reclaim what was taken from him by force. My mouth opened to utter an idea I suddenly had but I closed my lips, worried it wasn’t the right thing to say.
“What? You have something to say?” Theo asked. His voice sounded exhausted.
“Ah... it’s probably not a good idea...” I hesitated.
Theo’s eyes flared.