Page 71 of Unbearable

“You’re right, I shouldn’t. Because our relationship was completely different. But I practically begged you to love me. In the end you both made me doubt my self-worth.”

Tyler leans closer to me in the booth. His voice is almost a whisper it’s so soft. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I swear I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just… I don’t know what I’m doing or how to make this right with you.” The apology in his voice is enough to make me forgive him, but I don’t. I’m not sure I know how to.

My breathing slows. The idea of us falling back into this trap makes my stomach hollow out but what if we’re not falling back into anything and he’s giving me what I want?

“Raven....” His throat works on a swallow. “Please.” His thick lashes lower, hiding his eyes from me. His broad chest lifts and falls as he slows his breathing, getting control. He swallows hard and winces as though he’s experiencing actual physical pain. “I want more… with you. You’re not the kind of girl someone casually sleeps around with. I know that now. You’re the kind of girl you take home to your parents and marry and I’m sorry for making you think otherwise.”

My body tenses, and I stare at him with wide eyes. Pain resides there, and a sort of longing to let this be true, but damn, did he just use the words me and marry in the same sentence?

He chuckles. “I don’t mean right now. I’m just saying I want you and it’s a problem for me because you don’t seem to feel that way any longer. I get where you’re coming from but if you think this is just me wanting to get back to sleeping with you, it’s not. I want to be with you. All in. Love and all that shit.”

Is he fucking serious? Tyler Hemming wants me more than just friends who fuck?

Why would he want that? I mean, he told me in not so many words I wasn’t worth the drama. Okay, well, he didn’t say that but he sure as shit made me feel that way.

Tyler holds my gaze for another second then clears his throat. “Uh… you shouldn’t have to think about it this long.” And then he gives me a smile.

Returning his smile, I lean back in my seat. “I just don’t know how to answer that.” I’m thinking and it’s probably not what he was expecting me to say. I mean look at Tyler… most would probably drool over the chance to even have pizza with him, let alone be asked to consider more than pizza and being his fuck buddy. What gives? Why the change of heart?

Seeming annoyed with my lack of response, Tyler’s gaze slides away and he takes an extra-big bite of his pizza. “Never mind,” he mutters around a mouthful and rolls his eyes.

Okay, that pisses me off.

And I choke on my drink. “Don’t say that to me and then say never mind because I don’t jump at the chance,” I say when I can breathe again.

Tyler just shrugs. I’ve hurt his feelings but damn it, he’s fucking hurt mine too!

“How the hell did you expect me to answer?”

He slouches down further in his seat. “Maybe at least consider it.”

“Why?” I squeak. “Why now?”

And he fiddles with his napkin before reaching for his beer. “Why is it so hard for you to believe I want something more than sex?”

Is he for real?

“Uh, because you told menumeroustimes you couldn’t and wouldn’t fall in love with me. You said you weren’t in a place to fall in love and I believed you. For six months I begged you for more and you made it clear I wasn’t what you wanted. Excuse me if I’m a little confused here. The last time I looked, I’m still six years younger than you. I’m still your best friend’s little sister. I’m still in college with college drama. Still have all the same things in my life that you said you didn’t want. So I have to ask, what’s really changed? Does this have to do with your fight with Rawley?”

He scowls as if I slapped him with my words and says, “Berkley kissed me.”

What? It takes me a moment to process that one, mostly because I want to cunt punch Berkley for kissing him. And then why would he tell me? Is he trying to hurt me? Make me feel bad about myself?

“Good for you then….” It’s the only thing I can think to say.

Tyler nods, and I take a breath, my insides suddenly shaky and cold because his eyes have a coldness to them. “She wasn’tyou,” he snaps, flopping his hand up and then smacking it against the table, his voice full of remorse.

Stumped by his sudden onset of anger, I stare, the air around me cooling. “Okay.”

He clearly thinks I’m judging him—he scowls, his hands curling into fists on the table. He stares stoically at me. “She fucking wasn’t you and it made me sick to my stomach that I was fighting my feelings so much. I want you and it’sfucking misery. I didn’t sleep with you because I thought you wereeasyor I wanted to fuck you for a summer. You’re better than that and it sucks that it took me so long to get here but you know what also sucks? That you’re letting your idea of what you deserve stop you from the reality of you actually having it.” He laughs, but it isn’t amused. No, not at all. His jaw tenses. “I mean, Jesus Christ, Raven, I’m a fucking man not some college frat boy and I’m asking you for more…with me.”

I want to rip out his tongue. We’re back to my drama and exactly why I need to end this with him.

More? Of course, it’s no secret, I desperately want more but at what cost to my heart? I don’t miss that he brings up a college frat boy either. It’s a hit to my chest because it just proves my damn point that he doesn’t want what’s in my life.

Wiping my hands on a napkin, I wipe the condensation from the glass and then take a long drink of ice tea, half tempted to spit it in his face. “I don’t think we should see each other anymore. I’m only home for a few weeks and then I need to get back to my college drama.”

Absolute silence greets me. Tyler frowns as if he hasn’t heard me, but then his chest lifts on a breath and he clears his throat when I stand from the booth. “You’re leaving?”

“Yeah.”

The neon green light hits the side of his face, highlighting the strong lines of his nose and jaw as he turns to look out the window. The curve of his lower lip plumps before he presses his mouth into a line.

He regards me silently and then nods, not looking at me but at the empty beer in front of him. He gives himself a little shake, then lifts his head. And then he stands and brushes past me.

I’m somewhat stunned by everything that was said, and in a way, relieved. I think it’s obvious where we stand and while it hurts to know I caused Tyler pain, at least he knows I’m not going to be his toy any longer.

The cool crisp night takes my breath as I walk out of the restaurant. I can’t believe I just ended things with him for good.

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