Page 76 of Unbearable

The parking lot’s crowded, people bringing in the New Year with their laughter while all I have inside me is hurt.

“Stop following me,” I tell him when he’s standing before me.

Tyler curves an eyebrow at me, waiting on my reaction, running the back of his hand over his jaw before burying his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “You knew when you walked outside a bar, alone, I’d follow.”His eyes are cloudy, lost inside.

“No, I didn’t know that.”

LIAR!

I attempt to move, make it to my car, but he stops me. Moving quickly, he traps me against the side of the building. Every hard line of his body presses me into the side of Murphy’s bar and I’m reminded of the night everything began with Tyler Hemming.

He focuses on my lips, knowing what he is doing to me. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable by coming here. Red asked me to come out with them. He didn’t realize that we weren’t… on good terms.” His stare darts from my eyes to my lips and back again. He licks his lips and mine part in response. He always ignites a reaction from me even in anger.

“I can’t be around you, Tyler.” My breath catches in my throat, and I’m trying to remind myself to focus on breathing. It seems like the moment our eyes actually meet, we’re back to being miles away from each other, distanced by what neither of us can say.

“So you can’t even be in the same room with me now? Why? We used to be friends.” He glares, red-faced, eyes locked on mine, his chest rising and falling faster, clearly struggling to remain in control. Just like Christmas, he wants to say more to me, but there’s something stopping him. Pride maybe.

“Because it makes it worse for me. Just because I can’t be with you doesn’t mean it’s easy for me to walk away. You hurt me, Tyler. I feel used. I feel like I was just a toy for you to use when you felt it was convenient. And now I’m putting distance between us because I can’t resist you. You say you want to be together but how do I know that’s not to get in my pants again and then you’ll walk away when you want? You’re right, we used to be friends but that was before I fell in love and now I can’t go back. I can’t risk my heart.”

His brow pinches together with my words; his scowl set on mine. Cold blue eyes drop to the pavement as he lets go of my hand.Leaning in slowly, he whispers. “Just remember, Raven, I never wanted us to end like this.”

Withdrawing, he turns and walks away, the cool night air shocking my face like he’s slapped me.

I know exactly how this looks. Here I was a month ago begging him to love me and now I’m pushing him away. I’m in a constant battle with my head and my heart. This girl, the one pushing him away, I’m doing it because I’m tired of compromising my own self-worth.

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