Page 87 of Unbearable

I’m not sure how long I’ve been asleep but it feels like days. It’s the best sleep I’ve had in my entire life too. The kind where you dream of nothing. It’s just sleep. Which tells me it was probably aided by drugs and not just me being tired.

When I do finally open my eyes, the reality of everything takes a while. It’s obvious that I’m in a hospital yet I don’t know how I got here. I do have an idea that I had a seizure. The few times I’ve landed myself in the hospital have been from seizures.

Every inch of me hurts, the dull kind of pain like you’re slowly being torn apart from the inside out.

I lie here for a while before a nurse comes in. She smiles at me, tapping her finger to the board. “Nice to see you’re awake, Mr. Hemming. I’m Cindy, your nurse. I’m just going to check your vitals and then I’ll let the doctor know you’re awake.”

I don’t say anything to her as she goes about her job. I just keep staring out the window and the snow falling wondering how badly I’ve gotten myself into trouble. I was drinking. But I wasn’t drunk. I remember that much. Like a film reel, bits and pieces of the night come back to me and the last thing I remember distinctively is Raven and our argument in her dorm room. The look on her face haunts me.

The door opens again. A tall man in a white coat approaches the chair next to my bed and sits down. “Mr. Hemming, glad to see you’re awake. How are you feeling?”

Like shit.

I nod, but it hurts. My body is sore, like I’ve been hit by a ton of bricks, each one thrown separately. “Sore.”

“Any headaches or blurred vision?”

I blink several times. My head’s buzzing, a lingering headache around my ears. “A little bit.”

“That’s expected. You were in a car accident and we had to go in and control a bleed in your brain. A blood test confirmed your blood alcohol content was not above the legal limit.”

Oh, thank God.

“Taking that into consideration and factoring in your epilepsy, we are going with the assumption the accident was caused by a seizure. Do you have any memory of the accident or the moments leading up to it?”

I had plenty of memories but I’m not about to share them with this guy I’ve never met until now. “I didn’t take my meds,” I admit, remembering my decision to say screw it for just one day. A pang of guilt hits my chest making it hard to swallow. I knew better. I knew better yet I still fucking did it.

The doctor’s eyes narrow. “I guess I don’t need to tell you how irresponsible that was. You got behind the wheel of a vehicle knowing you were at a higher risk for a seizure. You’re lucky you didn’t kill yourself or someone else.”

Clearing my throat, I ask, “What happened?”

Please tell me I didn’t hit anyone.

“You crashed near Brownsville from what the police tell me. Hit a barn and took out some fencing. Didn’t do much damage but you rolled the truck. The owner found you and called it in.”

There’s a knock on the door and Red steps in, giving a nod to the doctor. He then stands at the end of the bed near the window. He doesn’t say anything and looks at both of us.

The doctor stands. “Also, your license will be suspended. Any time someone has a seizure, they lose their license for a period of at least three months, sometimes longer.”

Fuck. I knew that was coming.

Red clears his throat, taking the doctors attention. “How long will he be here?”

The doctor turns to look back at me. “We’re going keep you here for about three more days and then you should be able to go home to your family.”

Family? What family?The memories of the argument I had with my parents and the harsh words I said to Raven come crashing back. Though everything’s fuzzy, I know I probably destroyed any remaining love she had for me.

Red doesn’t miss the look that flashes on my face when he says family. He waits for the doctor to leave before his gaze returns to mine.

I’m the first to speak and say, “Sorry.” I know it’s probably not enough, but it’s the only thing I can think to say.

He shrugs, shaking his head. He’s struggling with what to say to me.

It’s five minutes at least before he tips his head, a contemplative expression guarding his real feelings. “Look, Tyler, I don’t know what’s going on with you… but I do know that you’re going through some shit and I’m sorry about that. I know I wasn’t easy on you with the whole Raven thing, but you fucked up big this time.”

I try to draw in a deep breath but it hurts. “I know.”

Red walks over and takes the seat the doctor vacated next to my bed. He leans forward resting his elbows on his knees, turning his head so he’s looking me in the eyes. “They pulled your license and you’re fucking lucky as hell that your blood tests came back below the legal limit or they would be charging you with DWI as well.”

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