Page 21 of Bad Husband

I’m not surprised this lady knows all the parents. She’s like a hundred years old. She probably has them all in that ancient brain of hers.

“Callan Cooper.”

The ladies awe at one another. “Awe, little Callan is such a sweetie.”

While I’m glad he’s a sweetie as they call it, this only confirms those douche bags at the soccer fields theory last night that my son is, in fact, a mama’s boy.

After putting twenty bucks in Callan’s lunch account, I rush to the office to get the permits and then to the jobsite where Brantley and the inspector are.

“Jesus, you look like shit.” Brantley laughs, staring at me with wide eyes as he’s leaning against the counter eating a bagel.

“Yeah, well…” I take a drink of my coffee and lean up against the counter beside him. “I feel like shit. Noah stabbed me with a GI Joe.”

“Man, that kid is a little baller.” He laughs. Brantley claims Noah’s going to grow up to be his hero. He literally takes shit from no one. Never ever think you’ve one-upped my youngest. He remembers everything. He had to get shots one day when he was something like two, and Madison took him. Afterward he wouldn’t even acknowledge her for two days because she held him down. Big grudge holder that one.

“What took you so long this morning? You’re usually here before me?”

He’s right. I hate to be late. I don’t do late. It ruins my whole day if I’m even a minute late.

“Had to take Callan to school.” And then I remember all the looks I got this morning. “Dude, you know how you’re always going to the bars to hook up with women, I think you need to get a kid. You wouldn’t believe how many chicks hit on me while I was there.”

“Well, I’d entertain the idea of a kid, it usually comes with problems, asyoucan attest to. And I’mnevergetting married. They say marriage is like a prison sentence. It’s why you wear rings. They’re tiny shackles. Besides that, Grady seems to be as much as I can handle.”

He’s talking about Madison’s best friend’s kid. They’re not important right now. I’ll explain later.

“True.”

“So what did she say?” Brantley asks, flipping through a book of tile samples he has in his hand. “She give you a reason?”

I tell Brantley everything. Always have. If there’s anyone who knows me, it’s Brantley. We spend fourteen hours a day together. It’s safe to say he knows me better than anyone.

“She said she doesn’t love me anymore.” Do you hear the dejection in my voice? You should. It’s pathetic, and even I want to slap myself.

“Well, that’s just stupid.” He sets down the tile book and turns to face me as he runs his hand through his golden-brown hair. “Of course she still loves you. Maybe you need to do something to get her attention? I once knew this guy who had a star named after his girlfriend. My cousin, he named a black hole after his mother-in-law. You could do that too.”

Sighing, I glance at the inspector approaching us. “My life is a black hole.”

AROUND NOON, MADISON sends me an invite on my calendar. A meeting at Callan’s school. Immediately I call her because I have no idea why she’d send it to me, or what I’m supposed to do with it.

“What’s this meeting with his teacher?”

I wish I could see her face because just the tone of her voice is telling me something I should listen to. But I can’t, and I don’t.

“Apparently his teacher needs to see us.”

While I’m not wild about taking off in the middle of the day when I have the plumbing inspector meeting me here in an hour, I know this is what Madison was talking about and if there’s ever a test, this has to be it, right?

So the good husband and father I’m trying to be would go to the school conference, wouldn’t he?

“Yeah, I’ll make it work. Should we be concerned? Does he usually have parent-teacher conferences?”

She pauses, the line quiet for a moment. “Well, no, he doesn’t.” I can hear talking in the background, mostly women, I think. “His teacher made a special request to meet with the both of us today.”

“All right. About last night—”

And she cuts me off with, “I have a client in fifteen minutes.”

“A man or a woman?”

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