Page 19 of Unbound

Red half smiles but doesn’t look at me and I’m thankful for that because by the way he’s driving, he needs to pay attention to the road. “Believe me, I don’t want that either.”

I’m not sure he’s convinced. Especially when I start screaming in pain as the contractions hit me harder. I’m not sure what I thought labor would be like, but it wasn’t anything like this, the doubled over version of me screaming out obscenities.

I’m not sure how, between me screaming and Red’s driving, but we manage to make it to the hospital without wrecking. Once there, they do a quick exam and send me upstairs to labor and delivery.

On the way there, Red leans into my ear as he pushes me down the hall. “I know I’m all you’ve got tonight, but I have to be honest with you, I’m not going to be in the room when this kid comes out. I could barely handle it when Nova and Chevy were born.”

Beside us, Nova grins, somehow acquiring a bag of Cheetos between the waiting room and the hallway. “He’s right. Dude almost passed out when my brother was born.”

I nod. It’s all I can do because I’m too scared to do anything else and everything’s happening so fast.

Once I’m situated in a bed and they give me some medicine to ease the pain of the contractions, I’m finally relaxing. Even though I’m six weeks early, they’ve convinced me he’s fine and he’ll be okay if he’s born tonight.

“I need to check your cervix again,” a nurse says, pulling my blanket back.

I’m in the room with just Red and Nova, and his eyes widen. There’re certain parts of this ordeal he said hewon’tbe a part of. Exams are one of them.

I can’t blame him. I don’t even want to be in the room for it.

“I’ll be right back.” And then Red jets out the door leaving me with Nova. Alone. I wish like hell Lenny was here, but I understood between having a C-section only five weeks ago and a newborn who stays awake during the night, she’s probably exhausted. Little Chevy thinks 2:00 a.m. to 7:00 a.m. is time for him to be wide awake and screaming.

Nova looks at me with curiosity, her eyes darting to the door, and then me. She walks to the foot of the bed where the nurse is and lifts the blanket back where the nurse has her hand stuck up my vagina. “How’d the baby get in there? Who put it in there?”

Now I know why she looked at the door. She doesn’t want to ask in front of her dad. More than likely because she’s already asked the question and didn’t get the answer she wanted.

“First of all, step away from my V, and second, that’s a conversation for another day, sweetie.”

Nova’s eyes dart to mine and thankfully, she comes back up by my head. “That’s what a V is?”

Crap! Raven told me about that story of the sleepover and Tyler referring to Raven’s V as her vagina.

The nurse smiles at Nova and then touches my knee gently. “You’re at a nine, Sophie, and fully effaced so I’m going to page the doctor now.”

Oh shit.

Nova waits until the nurse leaves us alone and leans on the bed using the bars on the side to twirl in her leotard. “Well, if you won’t tell me how it got in there, can you tell me who the dad is? Daddy says it takes a mommy and a daddy to make one. So there’s a dad, right?”

I’m hesitant to say, but I know she already knows this. “Uncle Rawley?” It comes out a question because I’m not entirely sure why she’s asking.

She stops her twirling and rolls her eyes licking her Cheetos fingers. “Where ever he went.”

It’s hard to explain to her the decisions her uncle made, and we haven’t. Just that he went away for a while. And that in itself was tough because of what happened to her mother and her papa. In some ways, I think she knows we’re trying to protect her.

“He’ll be back someday. He’s promoting his new CD,” I tell her, hoping I’m not lying to her. I know Rawley, and he won’t stay away forever. He just won’t and when he comes home…. I’ll cross that bridge when it comes.

BEFORE I KNOW it, it’s nearing midnight and the doctor tells me it’s baby time. Mia’s stuck in traffic so that leaves me with Red and Nova asleep on the couch. Despite all the commotion, she doesn’t wake up and eventually, a nurse takes her out of the room so she doesn’t see me giving birth.

I still haven’t had drugs other than some mild pain killers and I’m priding myself on doing this naturally. Might as well give me a gold metal as far as I’m concerned.

Dr. Nells comes in the room clasping his hands together. “Looks like it’s baby time!”

Red stands. “I think I should go.”

I grab his wrist before he can get away. “I’m scared, Red. I can’t do this. Not alone.” I sense his denial coming. Frantically I add, “Look, I know this isn’t ideal for you, but I need you here. You’re the closest thing I have to Rawley, and you’re like my big brother. You’ve been through this twice and I don’t want to be alone. Please?”

After what I’m sure is some internal debate, he nods and takes a seat. He’s torn. I see it flashing in his eyes. On one hand, he doesn’t want to be in here. On the other, he doesn’t want to leave me alone. “You might be the one having the baby but you’re not alone. We’re family and if you want me here, I’m here for you. But,” he draws out, slowly pointing below my waist. “I don’t want anything to do with what’s happening from the neck down.”

I start crying. Mostly because this was not at all how I pictured my life or how this would happen. I pictured myself getting married to Rawley and having his babies, not losing him and having his son with his brother holding my hand.

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