Page 2 of Unbound

I look down at my wrinkled gray T-shirt and jeans. At least my clothes are clean. They may smell like stale beer and weed, but they’re clean.

Sighing, I stare out the windshield and reach for the handle of the car door. I don’t want to be here, but Mom texted me and I know what that means. If I don’t show up, I’ll hear it from her too.

“When did you become a fuckin’ pussy all of a sudden?” Blackness glares back at him and Beck shuts up.

He turns the car off and we get out, weaving between cars to get to the backyard. I’ve got no business beinghere, but I am. Charcoal smoke and the sweet tang of barbeque ribs fill the air. Just the faintest smell of food makes my stomach roll.

Raven notices me first when I open the back gate, then Mom. My steps hesitate and I contemplate turning around. I don’t belong here and they know it. They see right through me, the coked-out stare and shaking posture. I’m barely standing, barely fucking breathing right now, but here I am.

I didn’t bother going in through the front door. I usually never do if the house is full of people.

Raven shakes her head, dejection spilling from her blank stare in my direction. My eyes sweep past her to the only one that matters. There can be people all around me but if Sophie Cunning is anywhere near me, my mind and body gravitate toward her. She has no idea what it’s like to be in the presence of someone who has that much pull over you.

I think back to what she said to me when I left this morning and I want to run over to her, grab her by the shoulders and shake some goddamn sense into. Why can’t she fucking see she’s the reason I can’t stop this. It’s her. It’s always been her.

Mom steps in front of me, hands on my chest. She dips her head, trying to find me in the blackness that’s become my eyes. “What are you doing here?”

I lift my stare to hers, tension rolling in waves over me. My shoulders hunch and I lick my lips. “What do you mean what am I doing here?” I see her watching me, waiting for the scene. Blinking slowly, I shake my head and force a smile. “Isn’t this what you wanted, a nice family party? Well, I’m here. It’s what you wanted, right?”

This guy, the one barely standing in front of her wasn’t what she asked for, but it’s who she gets.

Mom shakes her head, disappointment in her eyes and a set frown on her lips. I’ve become accustomed to this look over the years. “Don’t give me your crap. You know damn well I didn’t mean like this when I said I wanted you to come.”

I throw my arms up and walk backward away from her, forcing a smile. “Well, this is what you’re getting so take it or leave it.”

Hendrix steps toward me, always the fucking man around me, his hand on my shoulder, warning me with that ignorant I-could-be-your-father judgment. “That’senough, Rawley. Why don’t you go get some food and sober up? You’re drunk.”

No, man. I’m high. There’s a difference.

I want to laugh in his face. “I’m always fuckin’ drunk. It’s what I’mgoodat.” I shrug, shaking his hand off me. “And you’re not my fucking father. You can’t just step in and try to act like my father. It’s enough I get it from Red what a fucking loser I am. I don’t need you doing it too, old man.”

Adjusting his hat, Beck nods to the keg and I follow. I’m by the beer now, filling a red plastic cup to the brim. My stomach rolls. I haven’t eaten all day and beer is the last thing I need, but it’s my attempt to calm down and not make a scene.

I hate this. I fucking hate it more than anything. I can’t get her out of my head.

A dictating love, a used and abused, fuck-me-over love focuses her callous stare on me. She puts her hand on her hip. “You said you weren’t coming.”

I bet you were counting on it, weren’t you, you fucking bitch.

“It’smyfamily’s party.” Winking, I bring the beer to my lips, talking around the plastic cup. “Why areyouhere? You’re not family and the last time I looked, this was a family thing.”

Sophie’s eyes narrow. “Don’t you dare come over here and try to apologize.”

She thinks I want to fucking apologize to her?

She lays into me, her voice somewhat hushed but still, we’re standing far enough apart everyone fuckin’ hears her anyway. “I know this is what you expect, fuck up and then you can apologize but not this time. This is the kind of shit I was talking about this morning. You know that, right? You refuse to grow up.”

I bite back a laugh. “Oh, I’m not here for forgiveness. We’re way past forgiveness, don’t you think?”

“I can’t believe you’re acting like this just because I wouldn’tfuckyou,” Sophie spits back at me, like that’s the reason. It’s not and she knows it. She just forgets to fucking see it for what it is.

I face her, my blood draining from my face. It’s like someone’s splashed ice on me. Nodding slowly, I run my hand through my hair, fisting the ends between my fingers. “Sweetheart, I’m not looking tofuck youtonight.” I nod to her best friend but don’t bother looking at her. “Ask Kate.”

The second the words leave my lips, Sophie looks like she wants to throw up. I hate seeing the expression, but it’s for the best. Sophie whips her head around to Kate. “Oh my God,Kate…. Is he serious?”

Yes.

Like always, Kate remains silent, keeping her beer at bay to mask her betrayal.

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