Page 40 of Unbound

I hand him over to her but don’t say anything. I don’t know what to say.

“What do you do with him during the day?” I ask when she’s fixing him a bottle.

“Since he started crawling I’ve had to put him in daycare at Elle’s place.”

I cringe thinking of Elle watching him. I’m sad to admit this, but the one time I picked up Nova from daycare for Red, she gave me a fuckin’ blow job in the bathroom while the kids were napping. “You shouldn’t have her watch him. She’s not very attentive.”

Sophie raises an eyebrow like she knows everything I don’t want to tell her. “I know, but I don’t have a choice. I work at the shop now and when he started crawling, he’d crawl out to the shop when they were working.”

“You’re working there now?”

“Yeah. They needed some help in the office answering phones and filing. When I got pregnant, Dan had to let me go from the coffee shop.”

“Why?”

“Said it was a liability.”

“That’s fucked up.”

“I know.” She nods.

I watch her go about her morning routine, something I’m not part of, and I realize right then I’m not part of any of their lives anymore. I’ve been home for two days and not a single person has wanted to see me except my mother. I have to admit I’m incredibly out of place and did this to myself, but it’s a strange moment as I watch the two of them. There’s parts of Sophie I remember. Like the way she bites the corner of her lip when she cuts up slices of banana or the way she shifts her weight to the left when she waits for her coffee to finish brewing. I know her in some ways but when I look to our son, someone who shares my DNA. I couldn’t tell you what his favorite toy is or even what makes him happy or what foods he likes.

Rain pelts the back sliding glass door and Sophie frowns at the weather. “I have to run to the store. He’s out of diapers.”

I look at Lyric, who has banana all over his face and avocados smashed between chubby fists. “I could go for you,” I offer, knowing I only have my bike and I’ll get soaked doing it, but I should offer, right?

She smiles. It’s probably the nicest thing I’ve suggested in three years. She probably wonders what the fuck is wrong with me because I know I do right then.

“Or you could come with us….”

And it’s an invitation for more. Part of me doesn’t want to accept, but there’s a bigger part of me that wants to say yes.

Something twists inside of me, a reminder of everything we’ve been through together and I feel warmth for the first time in years.

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