Page 74 of Unbound

The sky’s cloaked in gray clouds and there’s a steady mist of rain. No one wants it to rain on their wedding day but here it is, raining on the day Red and Lenny are set to say their vows.

I smile, remembering. There’s a wedding happening here today. A binding of two hearts for eternity.

Bright orange, red and brown leaves scatter with the wind just as a piece of my hair flies in my face. Lyric squirms in my arms, his attention on the backyard where he usually plays, only now it’s being transformed with chairs, hay bales, and whiskey barrels. Before me is a place, a destination where Red and Lenny will exchange their vows today.

Red and Tyler wade through the wet grass attempting to make room for the canopy they’re going to pick up. They’re deep in conversation while Tyler assures him everything will be fine today, only Red’s running his hands obsessively through his hair. He’s nervous.

“Mamamama,” Lyric babbles, pointing to the sliding glass door behind us. I know he doesn’t know what he’s saying, but I still love he’s saying Mama.

Rain pelts the windows and my stare is drawn to the way they bead together and slide down the window when they become too heavy.

Just on the other side of this sliding glass door, Rawley sits with his boys. I know he is because my heart’s thumping wildly and it knows where he is at all times.

His touch. I remember his touch. The events of last night surface and I smile.

After Rawley left the bar last night, Raven thought it was in my best interest to break out the tequila. It’s never a good decision to drink tequila as far as I’m concerned. But I did and honestly by the time I was in Rawley’s room, I wasn’t that drunk. But I was tipsy enough to let him know how I felt, so I did just that. And then some.

I’m not using the tequila as an excuse. I know what I was thinking. I missed the way we were, skin against skin as he moved above me, and soft curses falling from parted lips. I missed eager hips and urgent pleas, the trembling and heated expressions… I wanted that over the coldness and the blank looks I received.

Did I get that sneaking into his room?

God, that andsomuch more.

The Rawley I witnessed last night was so much more than I imagined. It was the old us. It was who we’ve always meant to be and it gives me the encouragement I need to continue to be patient and give Rawley the space he needs to make peace with our past and hopefully continue into our future, together.

I always knew I met Rawley for a reason that day at the bus stop. I did. I believe that. In some ways, maybe I cheated on him for a reason? I know that sounds completely crazy but the kids we were before spring break, we were naïve to the ways of the world and what it meant to truly be with the one you love. I’ve gotten glimpses of what that means in the last week. Like small glimpses of what we could be.

After letting Lyric play in puddles on the railing of the deck, Mia comes outside and motions to take him from me. “Can you please go help Raven? She’s freaking out and said she needs you upstairs.”

Laughing lightly, I shake my head. “Okay.” It’s not unlike Raven to freak out but in this scenario, it actually works in our benefit. Mia doesn’t know Lenny’s missing yet and I’m not telling her. Mostly because Raven swore me to secrecy this morning, but even if she didn’t, there’s no way I’m telling anyone the bride-to-be is MIA.

Handing over my little man, I step foot inside the kitchen.

It’s then my heart kicks up a notch and I want to reach up and touch it, remembering Rawley’s fingertips brushing over it.

Rawley’s at the table, his head in his hands, listening as Beck and Linc go over their playlist for tonight.

I freeze by the door. Taking a deep breath, I wave to the guys when they look my way. “Hey.”

Rawley’s head snaps up at the sound of my voice, and I’m weirdly happy to see him looking at me so intently, despite his friends sitting at the table.

Beck clears his throat, his chair scrapping against the tile as he stands. “Come on, Linc, let’s go um… check out this backyard and the stage.” Not the smoothest transition, but I appreciate the effort when they disappear and leave me alone with him.

Rawley doesn’t move as I step inside the kitchen.

Cautiously, he’s waiting on my reaction, eyes wandering with a dark intensity. I follow his lead and pay close attention to his appearance, looking for any indication of regret. His eyes are bloodshot, hair’s messy and clothes are wrinkled.

Twisting in the chair, his gaze travels the length of me. “How’d you sleep?” he asks casually,

I shrug, his nearness overwhelming me. “Not great.”

I only had about two hours of sleep before Raven called me, freaking out over Lenny disappearing.

“Me either.”

We both stare at one another, knowing we’re both thinking about last night. A line was crossed in his room and despite wondering if I should pretend nothing happened, it did and there’s no taking that back. Our true uncertainty lies in what comes next.

I look away first, the urge to stare at my feet suddenly taking over. A nervous laugh escapes me. “This shouldn’t be so awkward.”

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