Page 129 of Burn

When Kellan drops me off in front of my apartment, I see Jacey’s car parked there, and I don’t want to go inside. I can’t comfort her right now. I can’t even comfort myself.

With the setting sun casting shadows on the city, I walk through the streets, dodging people oblivious to the loss inside of me.

I walk right byherhotel, twice, but I don’t go in. Instead, I find myself at a cupcake shop near Pike Place. I want to see her, no, I need to see her. There’s no way around it. I feel horrible about the other night and, after everything that’s happened today, I can’t let Mila go. She’s the light bringing me out of the darkness surrounding me.

Glancing over the display case, I stare at the cupcakes knowing the way to apologize to her would be through a cupcake. I could be wrong, but it might be a starting point.

There’s a man at the register. He clears his throat. “What’ll it be?”

I shift my weight, hiding the whiskey behind my back. I still have that bottle from my parents’ house. “I don’t know what to get a girl. I need to say sorry.”

“Hmm.” The man taps the glass display case. “I know a girl who’ll do almost anything for the red velvet. Maybe try that?”

I shrug and reach for my wallet. “Sure. Give me a couple of those.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Only two?”

“That’s what I said,” I snap back.

“Not a dozen?”

I toss a twenty on the counter. “It’s better to go with the simple gestures, my man. Not flashy.”

The man actually considers this. Judging by the Mercedes parked outside of this establishment, he could use advice like that.

I know I shouldn’t go to her in my condition, but I can’t stop myself. Everything inside me begs not to, but she’s everything I can’t control. I burn for her to take this away.

Personal Accountabilty System

Tag “passport” or other system for identification and tracking of personnel at an incident especially those entering and leaving an IDLH area, intended to permit rapid determination of who may be at risk or lost during sudden changes at the scene.

You know when you’re really mad about something but you can’t be all that mad because it’s your own fault?

That’s exactly how I feel. In the beginning, I never intended to fall for Caleb and I knew when I did it was a mistake. That’s the problem with sex. It fucks up your world. It destroys your heart.

Darkness spills over the city as I stand in the lobby of the hotel remembering back to the night in this very spot where Caleb walked away from me.

I wish I had his phone number so I could call and apologize, but what am I going to say to him? He made it clear my drama was too much for him.

I’ve been walking on egg shells at the hotel since that night, afraid my father might actually fire me over the double booking, and the desire to burn Nixon’s Maserati to the ground for the shit he pulled is something fierce.

Outside the hotel, the valet crew keeps the drive clear of snow and ice. It reminds me of what my father said last night.“It’s been brought to my attention you’ve been slipping on your job.”

I know Tom wouldn’t say anything about my performance at work, but he’s the one who told him about Caleb. I’m sure of it.

You know, I bet this is how Salt-N-Pepa felt when they wrote “None of Your Business.”

It’s none of Tom’s business who I’m giving skins to, damn it.

It’s not overly difficult to find the gossip queen. He’s standing in the valet booth with his phone in his hand. I don’t waste time on pleasantries. Like I ever have with Tom. “Listen, you dirty rat, mind your own car parking business!”

Startled by my presence, he drops his phone on the ground. It hits the edge of a stool and cracks the screen. It’s a good damn thing because guess what he’s doing?

He’s sending fucking dick pics.

Tom acts like it’s no big deal, but he does step on the phone effectively shielding my view of the picture. “I’m sorry,” he says, pleading with that pouty lip he uses on all women. Sadly, it weakens me down a notch. “Mr. Wellington makes me nervous!”

“Stop talking trash and grow some balls.” I jab at his hard chest with my index finger. “Or better yet, grow the entire thing.” I press my lips together like I’m holding back a laugh and point to his phone he’s standing on.

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