Page 160 of Burn

Immediately I’m crying.

Turning the lock over, he shows me what’s engraved on it.We’re everything we can’t control. Together we burn, her desire, his fire.

He holds the lock up. “Usually the lock is put on a fence or something like that. I don’t really know the details, but it represents a symbol of unbreakable love.”

Though I’m not sure where this is going, and I certainly don’t want him throwing the lock away because I love the quote on it, there’s something incredibly romantic about this moment, so I keep my damn mouth shut.

“I say we keep the lock. A reminder of our unbreakable love.” He holds it grasped in his palm, fingers closing around it. He nods to the water. “And we throw away the key.”

I don’t know if you can hear a heart fluttering like unicorn tummy tickles but mine just did.

I nod, agreeing and we look over the dock as the key hits the water and he whispers in my ear, “I love you.”

His lips trail across my jaw, stopping in their path to kiss my lips and forehead, his nose delicately nudging against mine. “You make me burn, in a good way, in a way that I found parts of me in the aftermath and, in you, I found a love I no longer believed was real.” His lips are there next, brushing lightly against mine, soft and featherlike.

For someone who rarely said what he felt he sure has a way with words, doesn’t he?

When he finally closes the distance, pressing gentle kisses to my lips, a sigh of contentment falls from me. My hands soon find their place in his shirt, where I fist the fabric in my hands. “I love you,” I tell him over and over again.

It’s times like this when the truth behind what we know and what we feel gives way, and we’re left with what weneed. Words we need to say. Parts of our lives we need to feel. And more importantly, what we need to believe. We need to believe inthis.

There’s also a point when we’ve had enough. Enough pain, enough sadness, and enough loss.

Caleb smiles at me, his eyes searching and pulling me in. He inhales again, deeply, searching for words. Or maybe he has them and he’s searching for how to say them to me.

“What now?” I ask.

He waits and then glances at the water, then back to me. “Do you want to know why I haven’t proposed to you yet?”

I’m completely caught off guard by this one. We’ve only been seeing each other since December, and here it is, July, and he’s talking about proposing now?

I nod slowly, unsure what else to do because I won’t deny I’m a bit excited as to where this is going.

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, and I want nothing more to make you my wife, especially with how dangerous my job is. I just think the words marry me seem like nothing compared to what I feel for you. A ring, a piece of paper, that’s not what you need. You need me. You need us. But if it’s marriage you want, I’ll give you that. To me, it’s not about tying myself to you in every way but being with you in every way. There’s a difference. You just say the words, tell me what you want, and I’ll do that. If it’s marriage you want, I’ll get down on my fucking knees right here and beg for your hand. Just tell me what you want.”

“I want you.”

Most people don’t believe you choose who you fall in love with.

I’m one of them. But I do believe in how you love someone.

There’s no fairy tale. Life is what you make of it.

Sound familiar? It should. It’s in countless works of literature and even commercials for Nissan and Chevy trucks, but you never think about what it really means until you’re forced to.

We were forced to.

Until we were everything we couldn’t control.

Until we burned, her desire, his fire.

Loving someone doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to be with someone you can burn with.

I CAN’T SLEEP that night. I don’t know why, maybe because of what tonight has given me, but I think about his words on the dock and their meaning.

I glance down at him wrapped around me. I can tell by his breathing he’s still asleep, his pulse against my belly. He shifts a little, and his scruff tickles my tummy. I giggle softly, a whispered smile, a breath of contentment that we were here, together, loving, feeling, and dealing with what life has handed us.

Silently twisting into each other, we tangle, turning on top of the sheets as he pins me to the mattress. I feel bare when he looks at me like this but incredibly beautiful. Like I’m a portrait on display being raved about.

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