Page 41 of Burn

As we became a little older, around fourteen, Evan and I grew apart. About the time Jacey moved across the street from us, and I took an interest in her. I guess maybe if I had to pinpoint when Evan and I were no longer inseparable it was then. The day Jacey became my girlfriend and not his.

Or maybe it was Heath favoring me, always siding with me in the arguments because they wanted to make me feel welcomed.

EVAN STEPS INSIDE the kitchen and reaches for the whiskey beside me. We have the same taste as always. Too bad we can’t get along anymore. In reality, we have identical personalities, and I think that’s what makes us clash these days.

“Why’d you bring her to Christmas?” I ask, giving a dismissive nod to Daphne who’s handing Mom a bouquet of red flowers.

Evan doesn’t look at me. Instead, he’s staring at Jacey who’s in the family room fighting over the remote with Gavin and Taylor. “Back off, Caleb. Jacey isn’t a kid anymore. She knows what she’s doing.”

I laugh. That’s funny. “But doyouknow what you’re doing? I don’t think you have a fuckin’ clue what you’re doing to her.”

His jaw clenches, hard lines forming on his face. His brown eyes drift to mine, blinking heavily. He knows what it’s doing to her and just like anything you’re addicted to, whether it be drugs, alcohol, or the woman you should let go, it takes a toll on you, regardless of the consequences. “Why don’t you mind your own business for one day? Let’s try that.”

I shrug, but I won’t. A few more glasses of whiskey and I know for a fact I won’t.

It starts during dinner when Gavin’s talking about a job they went on last night, and I’m sitting next to Jacey, who hasn’t touched her meal at all and looking like she wants to burst into tears when Daphne’s kissing him.

I clear my throat, and Jacey’s eyes snap to mine. They’re begging me to shut up, but that’s not going to happen. She knows it. “Do you think she knows you fucked her boyfriend last night?” I whisper, giving a small nod to Evan and Daphne.”

“Caleb, what the fuck is your problem today?” she hisses. “Knock it off.”

Honestly, I don’t know what my problem is. Maybe it’s that for the last three months Jacey has been crying on my shoulder about how badly it hurts that Evan never gives her the relationship she wants. Or maybe it’s that he fucked my girlfriend yet he can’t give her anything more than make her feel dirty about herself.

Or maybe it’s that since I was seventeen I haven’t been able to make a relationship last since.

I don’t know.

Staring at my untouched food, my thoughts drift back to Mila, but I quickly dismiss them. Mostly because I know where they’ll lead. Me wanting her and getting a hard on at the dinner table in front of my mom.

EVERY YEAR AFTER Christmas dinner we have a tradition of playing a game of flag football with my dad and cousins.

Remember when I said the Ryan boys like to fight?

How do you think a game of flag football with all five of them is going to go?

We fight and drink. That’s all. Pleasant motherfuckers, aren’t we?

Evan and I are at it, he’s popped me in the chin, and I smile because I think it’s funny, despite the blood dripping from my chin. “Is it weird having your girlfriend and your booty call talking?” I tease, knowing how to piss him off. If you haven’t noticed, I’m an instigator. I like to push peoples limits until they crack under pressure and show their true personalities. “You look stressed out.”

His shoulder connects with my stomach, and we’re back on the ground rolling around in the frozen grass. “You don’t know when to keep your fucking mouth shut, do you?”

“Nope.” I laugh hitting him again only to knock Taylor over in the process.

He tells Mom like the fucking baby he is.

“Boys!” Mom yells from the house. “Stop it. You’re going to hurt Taylor.”

Taylor smiles, tossing the football in his hands like he’s won. “I think we all know who Mom’s favorite is. You’re lookin’ at him, bitches.”

Evan snorts, shoving me off him. “That may be true, but we all know who Dad’s favorite is.”

There’s truth to his words. Heath has always tried to make me feel welcome and part of the family, and in many ways, it’s destroyed the only surviving parts of my relationship with Evan over the years. But I also don’t like Evan commenting on it. Mostly because I owe my life to Heath. No one can ever talk shit about him.

Maybe it’s the whiskey, probably the whiskey, but I pummel Evan to the ground again.

Fire Flow

The amount of water being pumped onto a fire, or required to extinguish a hypothetical fire. A critical calculation in light of the axiom that an ordinary fire will not be extinguished unless there is sufficient water to remove the heat of the fire.

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