Page 72 of Burn

Jacey holds out her hand. “I’m Jacey. I’ve hearda lotabout you. Hungry? Want some coffee?”

“Shut the fuck up!” I mouth behind Mila, glaring at Jacey. She’s like a little sister intent on embarrassing the fuck out of me. Only thing worse would be Owen being here. Thankfully his dirty ass is somewhere else.

“Oh, thank you.” Mila laughs taking a coffee and a pastry from her. “I’m starving.”

Fucking right she is. “Three times in one night” worth of starving.

Arrogantly, I wink at Mila, and Jacey makes a gagging sound back in the kitchen. “I think I liked it better in this apartment when you weren’t getting any.” She leans into the doorway to the kitchen and takes an overly large bite of her muffin. “If you’re going to be walking around naked, I need to think about getting my own place.”

Taking the bagel, the one I really wanted, I throw it as hard as I possibly can at Jacey. It smacks her in the side of the face.

Her cheeks flush and she’s pissed at me because one, that probably stung a little and two, she gets really mad at me when I throw things at her. Happens like every other day.

“Caleb Mathew Ryan . . .” Rolling my eyes, I flop my head back on the couch and turn it to the left to where Mila is laughing. I mouth Jacey’s next words to Mila because I know exactly what they’ll be. “You’re a dick!”

And then thankfully, she stomps away to her room.

“Sorry about her.”

Mila shakes her head. “No, it’s okay.” She gives a flick of her hand toward the front door. “I really need to get to work. Sorry.”

“I’m picking up an overtime shift today, so I need to go too.” I know she can hear the dejection in my voice. I want to throw a bagel at my head.

Mila laughs lightly and stands. “Jacey, she’s your roommate, right?”

“Yeah. That other firefighter, the one your friend fucked . . . he lives here too.” I motion to the other door near the wall. “I have no idea where he’s at.”

“You and Jacey . . . Have you two . . .?” Her voice trails off, and I know what she’s asking. She wants to know what my relationship is with her. Gemma wanted to know too. Me living with Jacey caused about a dozen fights with us over the year we were together. Mostly because no matter how many times I told Gemma I wasn’t fuckin’ Jacey, she never believed me.

“Well, uh, it’s . . .”

Mila waves me off. “I’m overstepping. It’s okay, you don’t have to explain. I shouldn’t have asked.”

I don’t know why, but I chuckle, the tone of it is anxious and somewhat sarcastic, and I know it’s because I’m afraid if I tell her anything about me, she might run away. “No, it’s not like that. We dated when we were kids, but haven’t been together since then.” I want her to know this isn’t something where I have a live in fuck buddy. “We’rejustfriends. She’s like a highly annoying sister to me now.”

Again, she waves me off. “Seriously, no need to explain.”

And I think I like this chick a little more. I think I’m fucked. It’s easy to think this might stay simple but I know well enough it doesn’t work like that. At least not my experiences.

I don’t want Mila knowing everything about me yet. I don’t know why, just that I don’t.

It’s not like me to share my past with anyone. Hell, even Gemma didn’t know anything about me. Other than the fact that I was a firefighter and where I lived. She didn’t know I was adopted. We fucked and when she started fucking someone else, I was out. I didn’t think I needed to have a conversation with her about being exclusive. Or maybe it was that I didn’twantto have the conversation because of what it would lead to.

Exclusive leads to “Do you love me?” That’s what every girl wonders eventually and that’s not something I can give them. So I steer clear of relationships and anything that involves expressing feelings or definition.

WHEN I WALK through the doors of the firehouse that morning, the guys are shuffling in as the shift changes began.

“She show you her dick yet?” is the question left hanging when I walk in.

Gathered in the lounge, Owen and Jay are already talking, loud and bright-eyed. The two of them are never late to anything, and if they could predict a fire, I’m sure they’d be right there and ready for it five minutes before it started.

Jay’s standing over the stove making breakfast, the smells of bacon and eggs frying filling the house.

“Fuck you,” Finn grumbles as they shit-talk his new girlfriend. If you can call her a girlfriend.

He met her at a club last week that’s known for transsexuals. We’re convinced this Kimberly he met is actually a Ken. And if he’s into that sort of thing, more power to him. He just has to be prepared that in a firehouse, we’re gonna rag on the poor bastard.

“Let me ask you something.” Owen leans forward, getting serious now. “When she blows you, does she stick her finger up your ass too?”

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