Page 122 of Love Complicated

It’s late when I make it over to Aly’s house. The boys are in bed already, and I’m disappointed I didn’t get to say goodnight to them or work on math with Cash. I was beginning to enjoy that strange routine we had where I was helping out and picking up the pieces Austin constantly dropped.

I had plans when I came over here, and while most don’t involve anything but getting her naked on her birthday, they certainly don’t include her in tears when I walk into the house.

Closing the front door behind me, Aly’s head snaps up, her face flushed, tears sliding down her cheeks and a pile of wadded-up tissues surrounding her. I’m angry, instantly, because I know the source of her tears these days. It’s always him.

Sitting next to her, I bump her shoulder with mine. “You in tears on your birthday wasn’t the reaction I was hoping for. I was hoping I’d find you naked in bed.”

She’s quiet for a moment and then leans into me, her head on my shoulder, wiping tears with a tissue in hand. “I know.” She pauses, breathing out a shaky breath. “Austin’s moving to San Francisco.”

“And that’s abadthing?”

“I just. . .” She pauses again, anger in her words, trembling in their exhale. “Ihate itfor the boys. Why can’t he ever consider them before he makes a decision?”

I shrug, not seeing the problem. It’s not like he’s around much for them anyway. “They’ll get over it.”

“Will they?”

Her question hits me kind of funny. I know what she’s doing. “Don’t do that. Just because I don’t talk to Madalyn doesn’t mean anything.”

Aly chews on her bottom lip like she’s going to bite it off. “You don’t regret not having a relationship with your mother?”

“Let me ask you something, how often is Madalyn a part of the boys’ lives?”

“Not much.”

“Exactly. She made about as much effort to be my mother as she does to be their grandma. Not having anything to do with her is a decision I made, and I’ll live with that. You can’t make decisions for Austin. He’s the only one who can change his situation. Not you, not Cash, and not Grady.”

She knows I’m right. “This is so complicated!”

“Love is complicated, Aly.” I lean in, kissing her temple. “Love is fucking complicated and selfless. She doesn’t understand that, and neither does Austin, yet. And he might not ever. It should beselfless. Another person giving their love with no intention of getting anything in return.”

She stares at me. “How is that love if you’re not getting it in return?”

“Because it’s not about you, it’s about them. Love is knowing you would sacrifice things that you didn’t even know you could sacrifice. It’s not the little things. It’s not phone calls or dates or fucking text messages. It’s not even memories. Love is knowing you’d sacrifice things you didn’t even know you could sacrifice to keep the love there. True love. . . the love you have for them. . . it’s selfless.”

She stares at me for a hell of a lot longer than I anticipated her doing, but then she smiles, and it’s soft, and. . . selfless. “The boys showed me the card they made you.”

I laugh, but emotion swells up in my throat. Men don’t cry, damn it. But fuck if those little blue-eyed boys draw it out of me every damn time. It’s then I realize what my dad was talking about in having a choice. I don’t have to be in Cash and Grady’s life.

I want to be.

I choose to be.

Reaching into the bag I brought over, I give Aly all the cards the kids made her. With confusion in her eyes, she takes them, opens them one by one and cries harder with each one.

“How’d you get them to do this?”

“Oh, please.” I roll my eyes, handing her the last one I made her. “They love me. All I had to do was ask.”

She opens the card, red and pink glitter fluttering out and onto her thighs. She brushes it away, smiling. “Were they sad it was your last day?”

“A little. I don’t think they understand how cool I am yet, but they’ll see.” I’m elbowed in the stomach. But I’m disappointed she hasn’t acknowledged my card yet. “Can we please acknowledge that I made you a heart-shaped card with glitter asking you on a date?”

Twisting toward me, tissues fall from her lap as does my glitter-heart card, but it’s okay because it’s her heart I want close to me. She straddles my lap, pressing her mouth to the shell of my ear, pulling it between her teeth. “I’ll go on a date with you.”

My hands move from my sides to the cheeks of her ass, squeezing. “Wanna do it in your van again?”

She laughs, throwing her head back. “Sounds like a good time. I wonder if Frank’s working tonight?”

---