Page 128 of Love Complicated

“I want to try something new,” I tell Ridge after our date, winking at him as he lies on the bed in the trailer. We’re supposed to go pick up the boys in the morning, so tonight is the last night for me to you know, be kinky.

I’m feeling daring after the outside nudity, and really, that’s his fault, isn’t it?

Take a look at his face when I saytry something new.

Ain’t it cute. He looks hopeful, doesn’t he? “You gonna let me stick it in your ass finally?”

“Nope.”

He groans. “You’re unreasonable.”

I swat at him and push him back, so he’s lying down. “Shush.”

I have a plan. Not a good one, but a plan.

All right. I admit, my blow jobs could use some work. You remember the other night when I gave him head in the garage, right? I can do better. At least that’s my hope. Not everyone is good right out the gate, right? You’d think after ten years of handing them out, I might possibly be better at it.

You’d think that, and you’d be wrong.

So wrong.

Anyway, I had a plan for it with the help of the Internet. You probably know this already but I research everything, and YouTube is my friend. That’s how I came across this video a week ago where this chick used a grapefruit to give a man a blow job. Well, a dildo and even better it was a demonstration video. My kind.

The most terrifying part? The noise she made that sounded something similar to Darth Vader drinking a Slurpee. Which—by the way—actually exists. The Darth Vader Slurpee that is. It’s like this purple grape, raspberry, sugar concoction that I’m positive had my boys actually drank the entire thing, would have died.

That’s not the point of this though. This YouTube video of Auntie Angel, the sexpert is.

So I went and got a grapefruit the other day and intended on trying it.

Ridge’s lying on the bed, hands behind his head, and I grab it from my purse. As I cut the ends of the grapefruit off and make the hole in the middle, I have so many internal thoughts it’s almost distracting.

Will it actually work?

Will it be too weird to be sexual?

Will he laugh?

Will grapefruit juice go up his urethra?

Will it burn?

Nervously, I turn on K. Flay’s “Blood ‘n The Cut” because it’s my jam, and I think if I’m going to do something this crazy, I need my K. Flay.

Dancing my way back to his bed, the trailer rocks with my movements and I think Ridge can tell I’m up to something because he’s watching me curiously, sitting up on his elbows. “What are you up to?”

I hide the grapefruit and blindfold behind my back. “Lie back.”

He does, grinning, but when I go to blindfold him, he stops me. “No.”

“Why not?”

The smirk tugs at his lips. “I’m scared of the dark.”

“Bullshit.”

I blindfold Ridge as Auntie Angel instructed, strip his shorts off and then proceed to give him a blow job to get him hard, as she also instructed. It’s a step by step process, and I’m one to follow directions.

So there I am. See me? Head bobbing up and down as Ridge remains mostly quiet, but I know he’s enjoying it. How can he not? Mouth on cock. . . always enjoyable for them.

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