Page 113 of Happy Hour

And the heart attack feeling returned once again. I swallowed over the lump in my throat, trying not to vomit. My entire body was now shaking...I was a fucking mess over this woman.

My heart broke when I saw tears in her eyes. I held my breath waiting for her response, hoping it wouldn’t be full of the hate I really deserved.

Sway started to get up—unconsciously I reached for her hand.

“Sway,” my voice was failing me. “Don’t go,please.” I begged. I wanted her to look at me, maybe then she’d see that I didn’t want Chelsea but she refused, making a vital effort not to see me.

“Why?” her shoulders shrugged. “Why should I stay?”

“I...don’t want you to go.” I admitted. “Not like this.”

She let go of my hand and leaned against the counter, her back still to me. “Why, Jameson?”

I have a temper, that’s no lie, but when it comes to Sway, and letting her go...I knew no bounds. I lost all bearing and threw the piston towards the wall.

“Fuck Sway,” I tried to control my voice and keep from yelling at her, but it was useless at that point. “What do youwantme to say? Just fucking tell me what youwantto hear and I’ll say it. I’ll say whatever you want me to!”

In that moment, that’s what you choose to say? Fucking idiot.

“That’s the problem, Jameson. I shouldn’t have to tell you.” She sobbed and walked out.

My terrible twenty-two’s shined. I reached for anything within reach and smashed it. When I ran out of things to throw, I destroyed the cabinets, computers...anything I could. Knowing it was wrong, I tried to stop myself but I couldn’t.

Nothing made sense to me. Why did it have to be this way? Why can’t she have everything she’s ever wanted? Why can’t she have her parents? Why can’t she have me?

Those were the constant questions I asked myself. And the most important, why couldn’t I have the dream and the girl.

I struggled with this for a long time after Charlie had told me but why her? Why Sway, and why did I have to fall in love with her and complicate her life even more? Why couldn’t we have just been friends?

The problem was, for two people like Sway and me, the bond couldn’t bejustfriends. The intensity wassostrong it wouldn’t be fair to be with someone else. There was absolutely no way either one of us could have given ourselves to someone else entirely. No matter what we did, there would always be a part of both of us that belonged to the other.

I fell back against the wall, my own sobs over took me. I never cried but this...what I did to Sway, drove me to complete hysteria. I was a blubbering fucking mess on the floor. I wasn’t sure if they were tears of sadness or tears of frustration. Either way, I was feeling both emotions so strongly in that moment it was hard to decipher which was stronger.

My eyes were red; my face pale, my hands bleeding and my heart was broken as I made my way over to Tate’s hauler. Chelsea was there waiting, she had changed into a short black dress with matching heels that made me want to vomit again.

“Finally,” she huffed standing. “What took so long?”

“Where’s the paperwork?” I asked petulantly burying my hands in my pockets.

“Follow me,” biting down on her bottom lip, she motioned with her finger as she strutted away.

“No, no, no,” I shook my head refusing to move towards her. “You said you had paper work for me. I’m not leavingwith you.”

She laughed bitterly. “You either follow me, or you don’t get the paperwork. I know youneedthat paperwork.” She smiled iniquitously. “So I suggest you follow me.”

I tensed, my jaw clenched tightly. I needed that title transfer. If I didn’t get it from her, I’d have to fly to Elma and get it from Charlie—which wasn’t really an option since I needed to be in North Dakota tomorrow for a meeting with Simplex to discuss sponsorship for my sprint car team.

I sighed heavily following her. “Fine,”

Once we got to the car, I looked around hesitantly. You know that feeling you get when something is wrong?

I was getting that one, with a big flashing sign, telling me this was a trap.

“Where are we going?” I asked when the car started moving.

Some overly large dude was driving, so there I sat in the back seat pressed up against the door because I refused to get any closer to her than I already was.

She just smiled without answering.

---