Page 120 of Happy Hour

“Jameson.”

“He did exactly what you thought...he used me forhisdetermined benefits.” I admitted. Dragging my feet through the dirt, my white flip-flops turned an ugly brown as we passed through the pit entrance. “How did you find me? Why aren’t you with Lane?”

“Lane’s here. He’s visiting with Andrea, Charlie, and the twins.” She laughed. “Those are some interesting kids she has.”

“They’re assholes. I almost punched the little one in the face this morning after he came out of my room wearing my thong underwear over his pajamas.”

Alley chuckled but said nothing.

“How did you know where I was?” I asked looking up, her eyes were anxious.

“Charlie told me that you came here.” She said resting her head against mine. It was a sweet gesture, not like Alley.

“Did he tell you...?”

“Yeah sweetie, Andrea told me that Charlie talked to you tonight.”

I felt warm familiar tears slip down my cheeks.

After about an hour, no doubt from Jack’s influence, I spilled my guts. “I hate that they kept it from me. I hate that they lied to me. I hate that Jameson knew and didn’t tell me but most of all...I hate that I’m not upset. I’m not upset that they didn’t tell me. I can’t find it in me to hate either one of them because...I love both of them more than anything and to be mad at them would just be a waste.”

“I know.” Alley agreed. “I would be hurt if my dad kept that from me or Spencer. But I understand your feelings here.” We were sitting against the maintenance shed right outside the pit entrance when she reached for my hand. “What did Jameson say?”

“I haven’t talked to him since I left Sonoma. I think he’s in North Dakota...if he got out of jail that is.” My voice was bitter despite me not being mad at him.

“He was released this morning.” Alley laughed. “Jimi made him spend the night in jail.”

“Oh,” Was all I said.

I also hated that he hadn’t even called. I mean, I know we parted on ill terms but just because we had one fight didn’t mean I stopped being his best friend.

But then again, hewasin jail.

“Do you think he did what they charged him with?”

“No.” she replied with no hesitation. “I had a meeting with Simplex this morning and briefed them on everything. There is no way in hell he sexually assaulted her,noway. Chelsea claimed he assaulted her, which from his statement with Phillip he pushed her off him so yes, that could be considered assault because let’s face it, Jameson is never gentle. But she also claimed he forced her to give him oral sex,” she raised her hand when I gasped. “He didn’t.”

“I wonder what she’s out to prove.”

“Jameson said she wants him back.”

“Well, he’s a free agent so...” I hated saying that but I would never be more than his pit lizard with his determined benefits. He made that clear.

“He’s not a free agent Sway and heneverwas. Jameson loves you, he always has. I knew that when I first met you two on that plane ride when we were kids.”

“Then why did you not want us together?”

“Because...Jameson has a lot of growing up to do and if you haven’t noticed, he’s a fucking child with text book anger issues. He should be medicated.”

I drew in a heavy breath. “Why do I love him? Why am I ready to just forget everything just to hear him say he loves me?” I whined.

Alley laughed again. “Sweetie,that’slove. Why do you think I stay with Spencer? Yeah, our three-year-old son is more mature than he is but Spencer has always been there for me. When you love someone, you love them for who they are, not for who they could become or whoyouthink they should be. You love themandtheir faults.”

Alley was right. Yes Jameson kept a secret from me, led me to believe we could have a relationship, and then quickly put it to an end when he found out my feelings were the same as his but even with all that...I loved him. I loved the cocky arrogant crazy Jameson, with his extreme anger problem and his dirty heathen talking. I loved him for who he was, regardless of his faults. So despite the fact that he said we couldn’t be together, nothing changed. I still loved him.

I’m so pathetic!

“Where is Jameson now?” Intending to get up, I hunched forward but realized I’d been sitting there too long.

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