Page 123 of Happy Hour

He surprised me when he said. “You don’t though and Idon’tdeserve you.”

“You’re what Iwant.”

“You shouldn’t.” he warned. “I’m not good for you. I’m selfish, arrogant, have extreme anger issues, I act as though I’m stuck in a two-year olds body...” he raised an eyebrow at me. “Should I continue?”

“No, I get it.” Looking down at my feet, I watched my toes slip through the damp blades of grass. Avoiding looking at him, I didn’t want to see the rejection I saw in Savannah. “We can’t be together.”

“I think you misunderstood, honey.” He placed his large hand against my cheek. I closed my eyes at the feeling of his warm skin touching mine. “I’m not what youneed, but I’m too goddamn selfish to let you go again.” He paused waiting for my eyes to meet his. “Do you have any idea how hard it was to watch you walk away, knowing I broke your heart intentionally?”

“Probably the same as having it broken,” I replied sarcastically.

His eyes flashed with that same emotion I saw so often over the last three weeks and it finally made sense.

Jameson did feel the same but he didn’twantto feel that way. He was right, this lifestyle wasn’t ideal but it happened and though it was creating that restless loneliness for him, he still wanted something more.

Regardless, I had to know if hestillfelt the same way. The fickle dumb heroine in me spoke. “Do you still love me?”

Jesus that sounded so retarded.

“How can you even ask me that?” He looked deep into my eyes his voice cracking. “I don’t think I’ve ever loved someone this much in my entire life. It actually hurts. You have my heart and soul. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to be with you.”

I wanted to hear him say it. He’d just bared his soul but I think he knew by my expression that I was waiting for it.

Fumbling with my own, his hands found mine in his lap.

When my forehead leaned against his again, his eyes closed and I watched as two slow tears slide down the side of his face only to have him shake them away. “I’m sorry for everything. I don’t want to do this without you.”

“Then don’t.” I whispered wiping the tears from his face.

Losing my control once again, I cried...pathetic brokenhearted pit lizard cried when I saw how emotionalhewas over this. All this time I had no idea he felt this strongly for me.

And though I felt broken, this time it was different because slowly I could feel those broken pit lizard pieces being glued back together with Jameson super glue. He loved me, actuallylovedme, andwantedto be with me.

“Sway, please,” he sighed as his fingers traced my lips; his head shook from side to side. “Please forgive me,”

I could feel the soft skin of his lips against my own. He was waiting for me to come to him. He had told me his intentions and was waiting for me to respond.

“Do you think we can make this work?” I choked on my tears. Twisting back, I took in his expression, one of a man looking for redemption.

“I know we can.” He said brushing the hair that had fallen in my eyes tucking it behind my ear. “I love you...that’s all that matters.”

“Are you going to crawl up my window now and rescue me like my knight and shining armor?”

He scrunched his nose in that adorable way he always did. “Well, I was never good at climbing and I’m slightly afraid of heights so...” he offered a lopsided grin. “Would you settle for me getting down on my knees and beg for forgiveness?”

“Eh, don’t worry. I won’t make you climb or beg.” I stood reaching for his hand. “When do you leave?”

He frowned standing tall before. “In the morning,” Brushing off his jeans, he took my hand. “I have to meet with Simplex in Grand Forks North Dakota tomorrow and then I need to be in Loudon on Wednesday.”

We began a slow walk towards the house, lingering in the shadows of the wraparound porch with a sense of dread maybe. “That sucks.”

Jameson nodded. “It does.” Pulling me against his side, he slung his arm over my shoulder. “But we’ll be okay. Together.”

I looked up at him—he was looking down at me with his beautiful smile. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make you see that this will work.”

“That could be fun...” I teased attempting to make light of the drawing day.

“You’re adorable.”

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