Page 142 of Happy Hour

“I wonder if we could get her to, you know...help us.”

Emma giggled. “Jameson wouldkillus.”

“What he doesn’t know...won’t hurt him.” I waggled my eyebrows at her.

The last thing I wanted to do was cause additional stress for Jameson. He had enough already. If there was some way I could help him resolve this whole Darrin issue that would mean less stress for him and less stress for me.

When we arrived back at Charlie’s house, I was in the middle of putting my bag in my room when Emma came in with a grime expression on her face. We’d only been there for five minutes so I assumed this expression hadsomethingto do with the Lucifer twins.

I watched as she pulled the red boots she bought from a Nordstrom bag, only they weren’t red anymore. They were now charcoal, burnt.

My thoughts were confirmed in regards to the satins spawn. Unless Aiden’s fantasy involved a fire fighter, those wouldn’t get him going.

“Aw, yes.” I grinned. “I see you met the Lucifer twins.”

“Met them?” her eyes bugged out. “They set my boots on fire!”

“They’ve done worse...look at Mr. Jangles.” I pointed to his shaved ass. “He will never be the same.”

“I was wearing the boots when they set them on fire, Sway.” Emma tossed the boots on the floor. “Who the fuck are those hoodlums?”

“They’re Andrea’s twin boys.” I gave her a wide smile. “Theylivehere.”

“You’re shitting me, right?”

“Nope not shitting you,”

“I’m not staying here with them.” she placed her hand on her hip giving me a pointed glare. “I refuse.”

“Yes you are.” I demanded. “If I have to stay here, you sure as shit have to.”

Mr. Jangles walked over to Emma and started rubbing himself up against her legs. She glanced down and then took a double take before jumping on my bed. “What the fuck is that?” She squealed in horror.

You’d think she just saw the devil or something.

I looked around for the devil—I wanted to have a discussion with him about his children and their behavior.

“What is wrong with you guys?” I shouted a few octane’s louder than necessary. I felt bad for poor Mr. Jangles—it’s not his fault he was overweight. “He’s a fucking cat!”

“What do you feed him, McDonalds?”

I shook my head and laughed. “You are so much like Jameson.”

Having Emma and the Lucifer twins around all under the same roof, there wasnevera dull moment. On Wednesday, they shaved Mr. Jangles the rest of the way and made him look like a lion, keeping a ball of fur on his tail, fur on his feet and then the long fur around his face. He looked like an overly obese lion.

Having no hair did nothing for his figure, that’s for sure. The shaving combined with the safety pinned pierced ears, made him resemble some biker dude’s cat, not my fluffy white longhaired Mr. Jangles who loved me and his spaghetti. I half expected him to whip out his switchblade and shank me in my sleep.

Thankfully, he did not.

On Thursday, they filled balloons full of Hershey syrup and threw them at Emma and me while we lay in the sun. That same day, we also found out that the ceiling fan in the living room was not strong enough to hold a dog’s leash while Logan was attached to the end of it.

Although, itwasstrong enough to hold a can of red paint and spray it throughout the room, causing it to resemble some kind of scene out of the seriesDexter.

On Friday, Lucas put marbles in the red dragon’s gas tank causing her to make an extreme amount of noise while driving.

Logan also decided Mr. Jangles needed a bath.

After all, he was covered in red paint, so he put him in the washing machine on spin cycle.

---