Page 143 of Happy Hour

There are two things you need to know about this. One, a normal cat will throw up twice their body weight...when dizzy. Two, a Mr. Jangles sized cat will throw up roughly ten times his body weight...when dizzy...give or take an ounce.

Like I said, there was never a dull moment.

Soon it was Saturday, and I was getting a little jittery as to what the next few days would bring. The last two nights of racing at Elma were cancelled due to a summer storm blowing through.

Unfortunately, Daytona wasn’t having the same storm, so Jameson was racing while I was stuck with Emmaandthe Lucifer twins.

Charlie and Andrea snuck up to Lake Quinault for the weekend to spend some time together. Long story short, this left us alone with the devils spawn.

It wasn’t exactly pressured upon us to watch them or anything. Feeling bad for them, we volunteered to watch the shit heads, which was why we were now picking out movies and buying a shit load of junk food in hopes they will pass out in a sugar-induced coma. It worked on Lane.

Did that happen?

No, that would have been entirelytooeasy.

Emma and I were curled up in the chase lounge in the living room, together, watching Poltergeist because Emma insisted we watch scary movies since it’s stormy outside. I think her brothers dropped her on her head when she was a baby because this logic of scary movies during a storm was just stupid to me.

I was not enthusiastic about watching a scary movie to begin with. The last time I watched a scary movie was the Exorcist with Jameson and I ended up sleeping with my bedroom light on for a goddamn month. And let’s not forget my phobia with preachers after that.

I hated clowns too and just a few minutes into this horrid movie, Ireallyhated them.

By the time Carol Anne said, “They’re here,” Emma was sitting on top of me, viewing the movie threw my fingers as they covered her eyes. I wasn’t doing any better with my baby blanket wrapped around my head.

Yes, I still had my first baby blankie...don’t judge me.

When Robbie was pulled under the bed by the clown, we screamed. But not nearly as loud as we screamed when the Lucifer twins coaxed Mr. Jangles into the room.

It was a suspenseful part of the movie; you just knew something intense was coming any minute, when all of a sudden the shaved obese lion with safety pinned ears, Mr. Jangles, came flying through the air, landing on top of us.

We screamed bloody fucking murder.

I’m not gonna lie, I screamed as if I saw the devil himself.

I should have asked him to take his kids back.

After the screaming fit, the twins disappeared for good reason. I’m sure they gathered their lives were in jeopardy.

The storm gained strength. Wind blew, power was lost, and it rained, a lot.

All this with Emma, the Lucifer, and me twinsalone, in the dark.

To say we were scared of the dark was an understatement...we werepetrifiedof the dark. It might have something to do with the fact that we just watched Poltergeist but that’s unimportant.

“What if it’s Carol Anne?” Emma whispered in my ear. She was close enough that her breath tickled my neck. She couldn’t have gotten much closer. After all, we were wrapped around each other.

“I fucking hate you for making me watch that movie.” I seethed through my teeth scanning the dark room for any sign of the devils spawn. “Where in the hell are those Lucifer twins?”

All we heard were their evil giggles throughout the two-story house. If that’s not creepy, I don’t know what is.

Their giggles were quickly silenced when a loud crash came from outside, followed by heavy footsteps. The little creepers weren’t giggling anymore...nope; they were clinging to our legs likeGorillaglue.

Who in the hell would be walking around outside in this weather, was crazy. That just confirmed my fears that it could be some kind of deeply troubled axe murder. No one in their “right mind” would be out in this.

“Sway, what was that?” Lucas whined and even in the dark, I could see how wide his eyes were.

I honestly couldn’t say I felt sorry for the little shit, not after what he pulled during the movie with Mr. Jangles.

“It’s probably your father rising from hell to teach you a goddamn lesson.” I snapped prying him from my leg.

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