Page 149 of Happy Hour

He kept his promise yesterday too. I didn’t do anything but spread my legs. Though I’m not sure how, he never took notice in my pigizzle vajazzled bling pad while doing this. The Holy Grail had yet to be revealed. I was actually getting a little nervous for her unveiling to occur, similar to stage fright.

What if he didn’t like it?

I wasn’t sure how easily that shit came off and the thought of it being ripped off seemed like cruel punishment that I was not going to allow. But then again, I hoped eventually, it came off. How would I explain this at eighty-years old? Then I thought, at eighty, no one would have their head down there anyhow. So that dilemma had been solved.

Making my way to the bathroom, I splashed some water on my face along with some of my favorite Banana Boat After Sun lotion. Just the smell brought me back to our first summer together on the road when sunburns were a daily occurrence. It was just another memory of mine that made all this feel real.

Grabbing some pop tarts from the kitchen, I scurried back to my room before anyone saw me. I really didn’t want to see the Lucifer twins any time soon. They still tormented the fuck out of me but ever since Jameson threatened to rip their arms off, they steered clear of him. I contemplated threatening them as well but I knew they wouldn’t take me seriously.

Jameson had yet to wake up when I made it back to the bedroom with two cups of coffee and blueberry pop tarts. I kept myself busy while he slept off his pain medication I gave him last night when he complained his shoulder was killing him. The one thing I needed to do today was pack for camping and cut down that tree. I must have woken up four times last night, envisioning that tree tapping on my damn window.

It had to go, that’s all there was to it.

I could hear footsteps behind me and saw Jameson making his way over to me, naked. My eyes focused on his glorious camshaft as he approached me, watching it and then feeling like a complete pervert for doing so.

Jameson of course chuckled softly wrapping his arms around me. “See something you like?”

“No...” I lied.

“You’re a horrible liar.” He dove in, kissing along my collarbone and up my neck, along my jaw until his lips met mine.

I kissed him back until the wind blew once more, the tree scratching against my window.

“How are you with a chain saw, sport?” I asked pulling back to look at him.

“Please...” he said dismissively rolling his eyes. “I can run anything with an engine.” His hand came down to my crankcase suggestively.

My eyes remained on his, pointing to the Poltergeist tree outside my room, I said. “Cut that motherfucker down!”

He laughed. “You want me to cut down a tree?”

“Yes lumberjack,” I mocked. “I want you to cut down a tree.”

“What did the tree ever do to you?” he looked towards the tree and then back to me with a touch of curiosity. “And how will I rescue you like your knight and shining armor, without the tree.”

“Is that why you were so muddy?”

His eyes dropped. “Yeah, I fell.”

Giggling hysterically was my reaction. Similar to when he yanked the fork out. It was adorable that he tried but also incredibly funny to me.

He growled and then picked me up, throwing me against my mattress. “What did I say about this giggling?” His body pressed against mine, trapping me.

“Not to,” I squeaked out between giggles, arms and legs flailing to get loose.

“Exactly,” he sat up straddling my hips, his hands pinned mine securely ensuring I wasn’t going anywhere.

Stuck underneath him trying to wiggle free, he only squeezed tighter just as a python would, crushing his prey.

“Now what are you going to do?” Jameson asked in a husky voice. I could tell this little wrestling match was turning him on.

Struggling was pointless; Jameson had nearly a hundred pounds on me. “I’m not going to giggle anymore.” Another small giggle escaped my lips before I slapped my hand to my face.

“That’s right...” he nodded haughtily. “Now, is that a blueberry pop tart over there?” his eyes motioned toward my nightstand.

“No...it’s strawberry.” I lied knowing blueberry was his favorite.

“You’re lying.”

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