Page 170 of Happy Hour

“Spencer,” she answered. “He thinks this is hilarious.”

“I bet he does.”

“Where’s he going?” Emma asked looking up as Jameson walked past.

“Maybe he’s going to the bathroom...” I guessed and snuck over to the door to see. “Stay here, I’m going to make sure he’s not running away.”

If he was running, I’d probably run with him at that point.

I followed him as he walked into the men’s bathroom.

Jameson jumped, taking a sharp intake of breath when I hopped on the counter behind him, watching him pee.

“Thank god.” He breathed in relief. “I thought you were Dana.”

“Nope, just a jealous girlfriend,”

Jameson turned around to wash his hands. “What the fuck would you have to be jealous of?” he asked incredulously reaching for the paper towels. “Have you not seenthatout there? She fucking crazy, certifiable insane,”

“Oh, it’s notthatbad.”

“Not that bad?” he seethed stepping between my legs, pulling my hips to the edge of the counter. “In the last thirty minutes she has told me her entire life story. We went to high school together and I smiled at her once in the halls. That she has a life size poster of me above her bed that she does god knows what to every night.” He shivered once. “She told me that she has five pairs of my underwear, one of which she’s wearing, right now and she named her dog after me,” his face went pale. “Sway, she knows somereallystrange things about me.”

“Like what?”

“Did you know that my favorite pizza in peperoni and pineapple?”

“Is it?”

“Apparently it is; she read it in a magazine so it must be true.” He rolled his eyes. “How much more time do I have to spend out there?” Jameson brought his lips to mine once. “I can’t take much more of this shit. She actually asked me if it was true that I have a huge dick.”

“No,” I giggled snorted. “She didn’t?”

“YES!” he shouted.

“What did you say?”

“I told her it was none of her fucking business.” His eyes got a strange look to them. “She asked if she could have a picture of it.”

I laughed hysterically to the point that Jameson was holding me up so I didn’t fall.

“You’re worse than stabberally!” he snapped pushing my shoulder. “Stop laughing, right now.”

“I’m sorry, it’s not funny.” I told him trying to breath and kissing him once more to keep my smile at bay. “Has she told you anything?”

“No, this is pointless.” His head slumped forward. “I asked but she said we’ll get to that. I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“I’m sorry.” I jumped down with a renowned sense of security. “I’ll make it up to you tonight.”

“Fucking right you’re making this up to me.” He smacked my ass. “And not just tonight...you and stabberally owe me,big time.”

Jameson left first and after a couple minutes, I made my way back to the kitchen.

The next thirty minutes were spent with Dana slowly moving closer and closer to him. Jameson drinking an insane amount of water so he could sneak away to the bathroom every five minutes, and Emma paying a waiter to keep offering wine to Dana, the most expensive wine, since Jameson was paying.

“He really is going to kill you for this.” I pointed out.

“I don’t care.” She shrugged carelessly. “It’s entertaining. Spencer and I have a bet going for how long it takes for her to try and kiss him.”

---