“Jameson...you can’t go out there today.” She choked on her tears, her eyes held worry.
“What?” I pulled back holding her at an arm-length. “What are you talking about?”
“Mariah...she...told...” she blinked quickly. “I overheard her on her cell phone...in the bathroom.” Alley wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her Simplex sweatshirt. “He’s going to wreck you.”
“It wouldn’t be the first time.” I mumbled with a sigh. “Look, Alley...I get that everyone is concerned, I really do. But this ismy job. If I don’t go out there and do what Simplex and my dad are paying me to do, we lose sponsorship. That means...I lose my ride and you’re out of a job too,”
“I know but—”
“I have to get to driver introductions.” Holding my hand up, I began to walk away. “Just let me handle this,please. Stay out of it.”
Alley followed nodding. Watching her, I could tell something else was wrong; her body language was different. This wasn’t just about Darrin. Her eyes flickered to mine once and then quickly towards the ground.
“What are you not telling me?”
She grimaced looking away. “Nothing Jameson,” Alley reached up, her arms snuck around my neck for a hug. “Be careful. We’ll talk after the race.”
“No, no...what is it?” I forced her to look at me. My stomach fell as I thought something might be wrong with Sway. “Is everything okay with Sway?”
“Sway is fine.” She met my tortured expression quickly diverting her eyes. “Axle...” her voice trailed off and I knew what she was telling me.
He died.
Nodding, my eyes fell to my feet and I began to walk away. I thought I heard her mumble an “I’m sorry”, but I couldn’t be sure over the loud thumping in my ears.
An hour later and one trip to the bathroom to compose myself for interviews, I was standing next to my car, doing pre-race interviews, trying my hardest not to get emotional over that little boy who fought so hard to make it.
Ashley approached me as I leaned up against the car with Spencer.
Spencer being Spencer attempted to embarrass me. “Hey Ashley, how’s the vertical smile these days?” he laughed slapping me on the back.
“Ask Jameson, he’d know,” Ashley snarked back.
“Uh...no...I would not,” I interrupted their bantering. “Is there something you want Ashley?”
Ashley turned on her faux smile, glaring towards Spencer. “So Jameson, you’re starting second...how’s the car?” she shoved her recorder in my face.
“I think we should do good.” I answered methodically. “It’s the same engine from the car we used her a few months ago.”
We couldn’t use the car because that was destroyed, thanks to Darrin. Looking out towards his car, it finally dawned on mewhyDarrin chose Pocono to supposedly wreck me.
I wrecked him here in June.
Kyle walked up once Ashley left. “Hey,” he patted my back. “let’s get ready. Keep focused.”
How the fuck was I supposed to stay focused?
I couldn’t get in touch with Sway, which always threw me off. Axle...I couldn’t even say it...Darrin...fuck. .
Putting all that aside, I had a job to do. I went through my ritual, putting my ear buds in, then helmet, gloves. Spencer bumped my fist and wished me luck, as he did beforeeveryrace and raised the window net.
Every Sunday and the occasional Saturday night, when I fired up my cup car, Spencer was the one who put my window net up—always had been and would remain. In time and by habit, it was sort of our ritual dating back to the days when I raced midgets and sprint cars. He was always the last person I saw before pulling onto the track.
“All right bud, stay focused.” Kyle told me once I had the radio connected. “Keep your head clear. You can do this. We have an awesome car today, shows what you got.”
“I’ll do my best guys.” I responded once he gave the order to fire up the engine.
The race was tedious for the first half until Darrin found me again. Once the green flag dropped, I passed him fairly quickly but now he was back, or maybe he was there all along just waiting for his moment.