Page 181 of Happy Hour

I was then curled up on my bed, with Emma, while I cried it out. I wanted to call Jameson, I wanted to scream at him and his camshaft but then I just sat there and cried.

How could I have let this happen?Was my number one thought.

I was on birth control...we used condoms...well, no we didn’t. We were pretty fucking careless caught up in our pornographic dirty talking heathen escapades. We were stupid is what we were.

Still, I was on birth control...how could that have happened?

Ninety-nine percent effective my ass. Damn you one percent, damn you.

Mr. Jangles was curled up with us and then it dawned on me, he ate a few of my pills last cycle. “This is all your fault, Mr. Jangles!” He ignored me and snuggled closer to Emma—his newfound friend.

I wanted to tell Jameson but decided on waiting until I saw him in person. This wasnotthe kind of news you told someone over the phone that’s for sure.

“It’ll be okay preggers.” Emma tried to assure me walking out into the living room with me. “Everyone loves a baby. Even my pathological asshole of a brother would.”

Charlie, who was watching ESPN in his chair, immediately took notice in my appearance. I was still wearing my pajamas; my face was all red and blotchy and god knows what my hair looked like by now.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked and I could have sworn on a stack of bibles he looked at my stomach. His eyes shifted towards Emma, “Why are you so orange?”

“Jameson.” She answered strolling past casually towards the coffee.

“I see.” Charlie looked back at me. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I answered quickly avoiding direct eye contact. “Why does anything have to be wrong?”

“You just...look like shit!”

“Thanks dad.” I muttered walking into the kitchen. That was the second time I’d been told I resembled feces today.

While pouring myself a glass of water Charlie walked in.

“Sway, what’s wrong? You’ve been crying.”

“Nothing dad, it’s nothing.” I lied slurping the water. “I just have the flu.”

“Sway,” he began looking down at my stomach, again. “The worst thing in life you can be is a liar.”

I laughed. “When I was sixteen you told me the worst thing in life I could be was a slut, which is it?”

“You’re right,” Charlie paused for a moment contemplating. “the worst thing in life you can beisa slut, then liar. Remember that, for when you have kids. Slut is number one, then liar at a close second.” Once again, he looked at my stomach and then walked away.

Well, that was strange, but surprisingly reassuring that he was still Charlie.

The next few days were spent avoiding Jameson’s question over the phone as to why I was so distant and containing Emma from telling their whole family before I was able to even see a doctor or tell Jameson.

Concerned with my lack of conversation on the phone, he was going to fly here after Pocono so I thought I could tell him then.

By Wednesday, he was threatening to skip the race and fly home if I didn’t tell him what was wrong. I just couldn’t justify telling him over the phone.

I made an appointment with my gynecologist and got in the same day. They didn’t have much going on in Elma so you could get same day appointments.

Emma insisted on going with me, which I was sure was a bad idea. My theory was confirmed when my feet were in the stirrups and Emma conveniently moved south knowing damn well I couldn’t catch her in time. It wasn’t exactly comforting since I was exposed with my bling pad on display for herandthe doctor.

“Sway, that looks really good.” Emma praised. “What did Jameson say?”

The doctor gave a look of both confusion and wonderment mixed with fright. I’m not sure what he was more frightened from, Emma for checking out her friend’s crankcase and her very bright completion, or me, for blinging out my girlie pad with Jameson Riley’s number and a checkered flag.

Doctor Sears gave me a smirk and continued his exam. “Judging by the size of your uterus, I’d say you are around nine weeks pregnant. Since you don’t know when your last period was I’d like to do an ultrasound to confirm this.” He held up a wand, put a condom on it, and violated me.

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