Page 114 of Black Flag

“Yeah,” I croakedtrying to control my sobs.

“It was Darrin. Swaywas conscious when I found her and she kept repeating Darrin’s name. She alsokept asking for you but she wasn’t making any sense, just mumbling.”

“Was she um...didhe...” I couldn’t even form the fucking wordto ask. Icouldn’tsay it. I didn’twantto say it. I didn’twantit to be true.

“We don’t know.” Emmacried. “Her pants were ripped off and she was bleeding from there but it could havebeen from the fall.”

Rage hit me like awrecking ball when she that. I hung up the phone, not waiting for any more tobe said. Tears streamed down my face. I had no idea at this point if Sway wasall right or how the baby was and that was the worst feeling of all. Notknowing.

Thankfully, Spencergave me my privacy and looked out the window as I silently cried to myself. Howwould I ever survive without her? I tried once and it didn’t work. I couldn’tlive without Sway. I needed her just to survive and as unhealthy as the bondwas, it was a vital one for me.

The rain hung on,rolling over the windshield morphing into a river of despair I followed feelingit carry me.

An internal combustionengine goes through four cycles, also known as thesuck,squeeze, bang, blow process.

You intake air,compress it, spark and then it’s blown through the exhaust. It’s not muchdifferent than life the human respiratory cycle working in tandem with abeating heart.

A few things are vitalto an engine. Without them you are parked. You need suction, a way to compressthe air, a way to create spark and a way to blow that air out. A number ofthings can go wrong once you have that.

Maybe it’s anelectrical problem, ignition, compression or mechanical—the point is that morethan one thing is needed for an engine to run successfully. There are a lot ofdeciding factors.

Maybe it’s anelectrical problem, ignition, compression or mechanical—the point is that morethan one thing is needed for an engine to run successfully. There are a lot ofdeciding factors.

Most people need a lotof things to feelalive, to feel fulfilled in life. But you only needone thing to actuallylive.

Just as a car needs anengine, you need a beating heart.

When your heart isthreatened by someone or something, you respond on instinct. Humans, animalsand even engines all respond in one of those two ways.

You fight or givein.

Even an engine, whenpushed to its limit, blows. Animals, they attack. Some may say it’s justinstinct and we can’t control it...orcan you?

One thing’s for sure...I couldn’t when instinct and adrenalineoverpowered everything I thought I knew. Not when it comes to my reason forliving, for feelingalive.

I could fight or givein.

“It’s your call.” Vanreplied, leaning against the brick wall.

After driving aroundfor three hours, Van had called and said that he found Darrin at a bar rightoutside of Loudon, having a beer with Mike Tanner. It was such a normal thingto do but not for someone who just...Icouldn’t even think the words without wanting to kill him.

How far would I go toprotect her?

The answer, I would doanything.

I was ready for him andonce and for all, I would finish this with him. Regardless of the action, thiswas my fight to finish.

“He dies,” Was my onlyresponse before I stormed inside the bar.

Anger, infuriatinganger threatened to overtake me.

When you think aboutit, anyone can be considered deadly when they’re angry.

I mean why wouldn’tthey be? After all, it is adeadlysin, right? Some don’t even know it’sa deadly sin.

But the thing withanger that most fail to realize is the power it holds. Anger can take downeveryoneandeverythingyou’ve ever known and loved just from the pure fury. Andthat is why it’s a deadly sin.

“Jameson, don’t.” my dadwarned stepping in front of me as I walked inside. I don’t know how my dad andKyle found us, but they did.

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