Page 137 of Black Flag

“Emma, I’d ratherstaple my hand to the goddamn wall than travel across the country with you.” Itold her, flipping through channels after Van walked out. I was trying to findthe pre-race ceremonies on the ten channels the hospital provided. I wasn’thaving any luck.

“That’s a bit harsh.”she voiced glaring at me. She was currently sitting in the bed with me, herhand on the baby. The moment she felt him move for the first time, she’d beenattached to me like a goddamn orangutan.

“It’s not personal.” Isaid and then I realized how low her hand was. It was hovering just above the crankcaseand I was starting to feel uncomfortable. “Actually yes...it is personal.” I grabbed her hand.“Okay...I’ve let you grope melong enough.”

Emma giggled reachingfor my stomach again.

“Emma,” I warned. “Youtouch me again, the rest of today and I will bitch slap you, no lie.”

She burst intomaniacal, uncontrollable laughter and touched my stomach anyways.

Van came back in a fewminutes later to see if we needed anything. Emma of course thought he was somesort of personal assistant and asked that he get us smoothies.

“Hey asshole,” Iwhispered to Emma, who was still in bed with me. “This isn’t a Jamba Juice.”

Van laughed. “I don’tmind Ms. Sway. There’s a smoothie bar downstairs. I’ll be right back.”

“Look what you’ve done;you’ve made a Navy Seal your bitch.”

She said nothing.Instead, she reached for the remote as though I said nothing.

We managed to find thepre-race ceremony. I hoped to see Jameson in an interview but he declined allinterviews with the media, I didn’t blame him.

He was still having ahard time. Every phone call I could tell his mind was distracted. I finally hadto have a talk with him last night and tell him that I needed him to pullthrough this;weneeded him to pull through this. What better way torise above what Darrin did to us and prove to him and the public that together,we’re strong. Together, we can do this. Jameson could do this.

I wasn’t stupid. I knewthe road ahead would be difficult but together, we could do it.

The media once againpainted the picture of Jameson as the out of control hothead but once the racebegan, they were right.

He was all overeveryone. If they were in his way, he was crowding them until they let himpass. He was aggressive and had the black flag pointed at him nearly every lap.He started nineteenth and was in third by lap fifteen. He was on a mission toprove something and I knew he would. He was proving to everyoneandme,that he was the man we needed. He was the man that could win the Winston CupChampionship in his first season and overcome the unspeakable shadowing.

Everything hadamalgamated and pressed into him until he finally couldn’t take it anymore. Hewas breaking apart inside trying to fix this with racing.

Van stepped in with oursmoothies as the announcers began talking about Jameson. Emma had disappearedto the gift shop so at least I had some peace.

“Jameson Riley justtook the lead here.” One announcer said and then the other began speaking. “Youknow we tried to speak with Jameson prior to the race but he’s been avoiding allmedia since the incident with his fiancée last week in Loudon.”

“I can’t say I blamehim, Rick. Their family has been through a lot since his horrific crash atPocono, I say we give them their privacy.”

“I couldn’t agreemore.” Rick replied. “He did issue a statement Monday morning after theincident that asked that we respect his family’s privacy and I believe weshould so let’s talk about this kid in general. He’s accomplished so much inhis short career. In the Busch Series last year he won fourteen races and nineof those were from the pole. Then he moves up to the cup series and wins hissecond career start at the Rock. I really believe if he can keep it together,he will win this championship.”

“From the looks of thisRowdy Riley today, he’s out to prove something. If he doesn’t wreck trying,he’ll win because he’s on fire today!”

And as they predicted,Jameson did just that, he won.

I watched withadmiration that my dirty heathen pulled himself together for me, for us. Thisman, the father of our child was a champion. It didn’t matter what anyone elsethought, he was a champion in my mind.

He skipped his usualburn out and went straight to victory lane. I watched closely as he removedhimself from the car but he didn’t stand on the roof as he usually did. He saton the edge with his head bent forward resting against the roof as if he waspraying. His team gathered around, cheering him on and soon he snapped out ofit and smiled toward the camera.

Once the media made itover, he whispered in the reporter’s ear, who nodded, and then they asked howthe car was and all the standard race car talk. What surprised me was his laststatement.

Jameson smirked towardthe camera, sweat covered his flushed face, and his eyes glistened with tears,his hair a wild mess as he reached for the microphone to pull it closer.

“I just have to thankeveryone who has stood behind me through everything this year. My sponsorSimplex, I have to thank them because without them this wouldn’t be possible.And most of all, my family...Sway,honey, I couldn’t do anything without you by my side. You helped me see pastwhat wasn’t important.” His voice cracked and he gave a tight nod. Strugglingto keep his emotions in check, he added. “I’m the luckiest man around and thiswins for you. I’ll be home soon and I love you.” He then blew a kiss at thecamera before he was tackled by Spencer and Kyle.

I knew the win meant Iwouldn’t see him until the early hours of the morning but at least he won. Awin to him was a start in the right direction.

I believe in karma. Ido.

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