Page 17 of Black Flag

When I walked insidehis destroyed office, I didn’t know what to expect.

I thought Jameson wasangry when I left him in Sonoma that night but this ghastly temper flaring infront of me was something I’d never seen before and I’ve seen some interestingtemper tantrums from him.

In all the years I’veknown him, I’d never seenthisside of him.

“Are you okay?” I askedwith a justifiable amount of hesitation.

“Did you fuck him?” Icould see his chest heaving even from behind as he rested his head against thecabinet.

Not the question I wasexpecting at all.

“What?” I gasped.

With his back to me,his palms swiped down his face over his eyes before he spun around to face me,his head lifted arrogantly. “You heard me.” He growled back. His voice heatedand his eyes were that cold ice jade color he got when he was so irate hecouldn’t see straight. “Did you?”

I’ve seen this look atime or two in the past but had never been on the receiving end to understandwhy Tommy called it the “Death Stare”.

“I already told youthat.” I was trying to remain calm but I couldn’t help my voice from trembling.Never in my life had I ever been scared of Jameson, until now.

“Goddamn itSway!” he shouted. “I mean recently.” His hand swept across the counterknocking a glass against the wall. It shattered on impact, shards of glassspread throughout the room just as sharp as his voice. “Did you?”

NowIwaspissed.

Here I was almost threemonths pregnant withhischild, and he was accusing me of cheating onhim.

“What the fuck are youtalking about?” I could feel a blush of anger creep across my face.

Jameson glared, hishead tilted slightly as if this was meant to be a warning of some sort; andstepped toward me. “Did you fuck him? He said you gave him head.”

“MyGod Jameson!”I hollered losing control. “I never asked you about the sluts that sucked yourdick before us. What would make you think I would tell you who I did? Isn’tthat frowned upon in relationships?”

“No one ever has!” Heshouted back, his face turning puce with infuriating anger that brieflyoverpowered the slur.

“Come again?”

He stepped closer withnothing more than harsh breathing and silent words for a moment. Wounded greeneyes fringed by dark lashes settle on my face studying me with an unnervingintensity. “I haveneverlet another woman suck my dick.” He seethedslowly, articulating each word with a careful quiet potency.

Jameson’s eyes searchedmine as I grasped the meaning behind his words.

“Well then.” was myonly response.

His right hand cuppedmy cheek. I flinched away; too angry that he’d basically accused me of cheatingon him. He didn’t let me get away. Instead he raised my chin forcing me look athim. His eyes glowered.

“I’m only going to askyou this once. Iwillknow if you’re lying to me,” he paused andswallowed seeming to choose his next words carefully as his eyes held mine,anger brewing. “Have you been with anyone else since we got together?”

Part of me, thehormonal pregnant part, wanted to tell him to fuck off for even insinuatingsuch a thing but the other part, that part that was irrevocably in love withthis man, wanted to answer him.

I chose the latter andwent with the stubborn approach. “I can’t believe that you would even ask me aquestion like that. Do you not trust me at all?” I didn’t wait for his responsebefore I was heading toward the door.

“Sway...wait,” He pleaded his voice was softerbut still sharp with anger. “I’m sorry. Please, just...don’t go.”

“No Jameson!” It was myturn to shout again. “You don’t get to apologize. You don’t get to basicallycall your pregnant girlfriend a whore and apologize not more than a minutelater!” I ran out of the office slamming the door behind me.

Once I reached his car,I was in tears.

My heart was aching,feeling like it’d been torn in two once again by this man. The saddest partabout that whole thing was even though he was the one who hurt me; he was alsothe one person who could put me back together.

Jameson was alwaysthere to fix anything. Like the night I lost my virginity to Dylan Grady. Thenext night when Dylan refused to even look at me it was Jameson who picked upthe pieces and Christ was there a lot of pieces to gather.

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