Page 184 of Black Flag

I wanted my littleadorable flailing spaz to be healthy,butI also wanted him out of mybody. Thank baby Jesus I wasn’t an elephant. Those poor creatures were pregnantfor almost two years.

“Now what about dancing?”I asked as though I was preparing for a presidential debate. I’m surprised Ididn’t have note cards in front of me.

He laughed as Isuspected he would. “You can dance but again, nothing crazy.”

After that, I felt goodabout that appointment.

When I got back toCharlie’s house to finish packing clothes for our drive to Vegas after thewedding, Emma was waiting for me.

“I have a great idea,”she chimed as I walked back into my bedroom.

“Really?Let me guess...you’ve decided to join the circus?”

She completely ignoredme. “I think we should getvajazzledagain before thewedding.”

Now as much as Ienjoyed theblingedout girly pad, I did not enjoygetting my beaver pelt ripped out by that tiny Asian woman who laughed everytime I screamed out in pain.

But against allgood,and reasonable judgment, I let Emma convince me to getvajazzledagain.

Who doesn’t want theircrankcase to sparkle?Especially when she was on the pole forthe next race.

I decided I wouldn’treveal my newfound freedom with the dirty heathen until our wedding night,along with myblingedout girly pad. Just saying thewordswedding nighthad me squealing like a four-year old at her firstslumber party.

When Emma and I gotback, she left to get ready and I took a nap in Jameson’s lap.

“Don’t you dare answerthat!”

“Why?” I asked glancingdown at my ringing cell phone when I woke up.

“Because...they will come over here,” Jameson saidopening a beer. He tossed the beer cap on the end table next to him. “I can’thandleanyof them today after that tux fitting. Let’s just enjoy a fewhours alone inourhouse. We have to see them all day tomorrow.”

“You know they arecoming over anyways, right?”

Jameson stared at me inaghast. “What?”

“Jameson, do you payattention to anything?”

“Well that depends.” Hesat down in one of the overstuffed suede leather chairs I picked out, which Imight add, made me happy since he swore he would never sit in them. “Who toldme they were coming over?”

“Emma.”

“Well there you go.” heleaned back in the chair, kicking his feet up on the matching leather ottoman.“I don’t listen to anything when she speaks.”

Before we couldcontinue, they were knocking on the door.

Emma decided therehearsal dinner would be held at our house, as in, the house we just bought.

Jameson had other ideasabout it but that didn’t matter as far as Emma was concerned.

It took about fourweeks to get it painted and decorated the way we wanted, which Emma did. Ioriginally loved the kitchen but of course—Emma remodeled it. I was pleasantlysurprised at how well she did. The entire house had a calm, homey, lived infeeling with a warm inviting palette allow with a shit load of furnishingsshe’d purchased at the Old Canary and The Pottery Barn.

Within an hour ourhouse and the deck outside had people everywhere. I sat in my overstuffed chairwith my feet up while everyone mingled and talked to Jameson, who sat besideme. It was mostly Jameson’s family since my family consisted of Charlie and me.Both my parents were only children so I had no cousins or aunts and uncles andmy grandparents had long since passed away.

I suppose the Lucifertwins were now family but I still refused to acknowledge that I was actuallyrelated to the little bastards. Just another thing in my life I was in denial about.

Emma plopped down nextto me and then sighed. “Are you ready to leave soon?”

“What are you talkingabout?” I asked keeping an eye on Jameson who was now demonstrating to Loganhow to play pool. I was positive someone was going to lose an eye.

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