Page 185 of Black Flag

“We are leaving forKianaLodge tonight.” She told me giving me that“Don’tyou pay attention to anything,”look.

“Oh, right.” I musthave missed that one in the hour-long tirades she’d gone on these days concerningthis goddamn wedding. I for one; will be glad when it’s over. Not that I don’twant to marry Jameson, because I couldn’t wait to tie myself to him in everyway but I hated the entire fret over something that would only last a fewhours. And don’t get me started on the money that goes into these things.

Seriously though, whospends five thousand dollars on a fucking cake?Pureinsanity.

Emma does or should Isay, Jameson does. He handed over his credit card a few weeks back and Ireminded him every day how horrible of an idea that was. Just imagine hissurprise when he gets his statement next month. I’ll bet it will resemble oneof those LooneyTooncharacters when their face turnsall red and steam comes out of their ears...likeElmerFuddwhen he fails to catch the rabbit, or ashe sayswabbit.

“Where will Jameson betonight then?” I asked still eyeing Jameson and Logan.

“Aiden, Spencer, andhimare driving up in the morning. You guys aren’t allowedto see each until the wedding.”

Damn traditions.

Later that night, wehad a simple bachelorette party while Alley, Emma, Mallory, and Nancy got drunkin the hotel room.

I drank root beerfloats. Jameson briefly told me about his bachelor party a few days ago and hefelt as though it was more for our family. After this, I felt the same way. Notthat I really wanted a crazy bachelorette party. It just seemed like this wasmore about keeping up with traditions than having fun. It didn’t help that Iwas pregnant and couldn’t have a good time though.

I was also not amusedwith my gifts. Well, I liked the nighties I got but the vibrators wereannoying. One vibrator is okay, five is not.

What did they think wewere going to do, double-team each other?

That morning Ilaidin bed with a grin thinking of the night to come. Ifinally understood what we created back when we were eleven. Our lives had beenso intertwined as one, knitted together to the point the frayed fabric was justone now. Strings of friendship, desire, love, lust, bonds, all tangled creatingone string that aftertoday,would forever be fabric.

I went along with allthe wedding traditions with my usual lackadaisical attitude. I let everyonefuss over me for the last few weeks but I was at a breaking point. Here I satin my dress and ready to go, crying profusely.

The breaking point wasreached when I read a note Jameson gave me to read this morning.

My knocked up bride to be,

In just a few short hours, you will finally be mywife. Prepare for a lifetime of dirty sex.

Love,

Your dirty heathen husband

Surprisingly, it wasthe perfect note for me that morning.

I never thought thisday would finally come. Six months ago, I set out to prove to Jameson that Icould be more than his best friend. Although that originally backfired on me,it taught us both something about the way we felt for each other and a taste wenever knew we wanted.

When he proposed, Ihonestly thought I was dreaming. How could everything I wanted with him betrue? After much internal debate these last few weeks, I had come to theconclusion my fairytale wasn’t a nightmare after all, and your lifecango from the unspeakable to the fairytale, if you let it, if you believe it can.

The fairytale wasthis—allaround me. The prince charming, though he was a dirty heathen, he wasmyprince charming, flawed to perfection. This was my happy right now.

Even with all thisexcitement, that didn’t stop the tears after I read his note. It wasn’t sappyor anything but the fact that he knew what to say to me, made me cry.

I don’t know why I washaving a panic attack but I was.

“Ohmy god!”I yelled and then giggled in a passive aggressive way staring at my reflectionin the full-length mirror.

There have been a few timesin my life where I have had a full-blown panic attack. The first being when Isaw a penis on a porno Emma and I stole from Spencer when I was thirteen.The second, when I found out that there were balls attached to itand they were covered in hair.

“What’s the matter?”Nancy asked stepping beside me rubbing my back.

“My dad...is gonna know I’m not a virgin aftertonight...oh god!” I wailed louder.

It was a stupid thingto be thinking of but the idea that Charlie would know I was no longer avirgin, terrified me.

“Sway...you’re eight months pregnant.” Alleysnorted. “He’s not an imbecile and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t think you’re theVirgin Mary.”

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