Page 191 of Black Flag

In college, I took aphysiology class, only one, but I learned that RobertPlutchickcreated a wheel of emotions that consisted of eight basic emotions and eightadvanced emotions composed of two basic ones.

What happens whenyou’re feeling all of them at once?

Ashitstormof emotional overload is what happens.

Standing in front of theman of my dreams, butterflies dancing around in my belly, I had to focus juston breathing, forget about trying to decipher emotions.

I did the only thing Icould do to distract myself. I decided on what I’d call myself now that I wasmarried. This could take a while but at the top of my list was “Wizard” sinceI’m no longer a Pit Lizard and I’ve been upgraded from Pigizzle.Wizard...It had a nice ring to it, magical even.Just like our fairytale love story.

When I focused onceagain on Jameson’s eyes as the minister finished the ceremony, so many momentsin our lives were replaying in my mind like a slide show.

The moment we met andhis grass green eyes locked with mine, wide and full of innocence. Our firstkiss and the way his lips felt when they touched mine, the ever-presentelectric pulse humming between us and the exciting all consuming feelingswirling throughout my body of our first kiss. I saw the day he asked me tostay in Charlotte, the way his hand felt against my ankle when he spoke the word“stay”. I saw the look of defeat when I left Sonoma. I saw him standing outsidemy house, waiting for me. His expression when I told him I was pregnant.And the look of pure relief when I agreed to marry him.

All of those imageswere surging throughout me, ebbing electric tides of my memories with him. HereI was, standing in front of the man I loved for the last ten years. I stillremember the knobby kneed little boy who liked cherry jolly ranchers, bananaonlyLaffyTaffy, and whined like a two-year old whenhe didn’t get his way. He may be a NASCAR champion now but underneath it all hewas still that little boy at heart who was now my husband.

All the uncertainty I’dever felt that he didn’t feel the same way seemed so silly now. He was here,showingme that he had felt the same way all along and that this was where we belonged.

Looking at him now, whydid I ever have fear?

He was my hero, my bestfriend, the boy I branded cows with and my shoulder to cry on when I lost myvirginity to a douche. He was my scary movie partner, the stealer of my NineInch Nails CDs and my dancing partner to a dance that only he knew the steps.He was my confidant, someone I could be me around, someone who knew me. He wasthe boy who gave me my first kiss at eleven and stole my heart in the pits ofKnoxville Raceway seven years later.

He carved his name incountless record books beside the greatest racers in the world and in my heart.

He wasmy everythingand now he would be my husband.

Flywheel – Jameson

I was relieved when theminister finally pronounced us husband and wife, and gave me permission to kissmy bride. Sway had happy tears in her eyes as I leaned down to press my lips tohers softly.

She had other ideas andgot a laugh from the crowd when she threw caution to the wind and flung herarms around my neck threading her fingers in my hair, clutching me to her in adeep kiss that was not quite polite for church. Thankfully, we weren’t actuallyin one. Besides, I was delighted with her enthusiasm and returned the kiss withas much enthusiasm of my own, probably more than I should have. But I wantedher to know. I wanted her to know that I loved her all these years and wantedher as my wife. I poured every emotion I ever had for her into that kiss.

It wasn’t until my dadcleared his throat and said with no measure of amusement, “Hey dipshit, let thepoor girl breathe,” that I figured it was up to me to break the kiss and returnto the actual moment, here, in a room full of people.

I placed my handsgently on Sway’s cheeks and pulled away, smiling down at her. She smiled, notquite regretting her flagrant public display of affectionate abandon. With areturn smile of my own, I took her hand and we turned toward the congregation.There was one last traditional moment to cap off the ceremony.

“Friends and family,”Reverend Campbell announced, “it is my great pleasure to be the first tointroduce to you Mr. and Mrs. Jameson Riley.”

I loved the sound ofthat, as old fashioned as it may have sounded.

I wondered if Sway hadeven heard it. She was still looking up at me, beaming with apparent happiness.As we were pulled into one after another of the congratulatory embraces of ourguests, she continued to clutch my hand tightly. My heart soared to see herdeep joy equally reflect my own.

There was no way todoubt that we belonged together.

The reception followeddirectly after the ceremony. Still clutching Sway’s hand, I led her into themain lodge, decorated with more flowers, ribbon and white cloth. A bar and adance floor had been set up, and uniformed wait staff were ready with glassesof champagne for our guests.

I glanced toward thelarge glass windows looking over the ocean. It was still snowing outside and Ibriefly wondered if we’d even be able to leave in the goddamn carriage. Surely,it didn’t have snow tires.

Emma had built all ofthe usual traditions into the reception agenda. We cut a five-tiered whitewedding cake heavy with fondant flowers and mashed bites into each other’sfaces. She threw her bouquet over her shoulder to the group of unmarried women,somehow managing to direct it to her intended target, Ami, Justin’s girlfriend.

When it was my turn toremove her garter, I wasn’t surprised to see that she had already maneuvered itdown from her thigh in order to modestly minimize the amount of leg she wouldbe flashing at the crowd. I had other plans for that. She was not escapingthis.

“Oh,come on...” Spencer yelled from off to my leftwhen he saw what she’d done. “That’s no fun!”

For his amusement and,admittedly, to tease Sway I flipped her dress up higher than necessary over herknee, letting my fingers trace sensuously down the length of her leg as I bentdown to remove the garter, with my teeth, as slowly as I could. Spencer, Tommy,who was feeling better, and Aiden both whistled as Sway flushed red.

When it was finallytime for our first dance, I was relieved to find that Sway was relaxed,settling contentedly in my arms as she let me lead her around the floor. WechoseCan’t Help Falling in Loveas our first dance. That was one aspectof the wedding we were adamant on was our music selection. If Emma had her way,we’d be dancing to some Miley Cyrus song.

I was vaguely aware ofphotographs being taken, but tuned out the crowd to concentrate on my bride,singing quietly to her.

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