Page 200 of Black Flag

He was so cluelesssometimes. “Spencer?”

“Yeah...?”

“Keep your fuckingclothes on.” I said sternly.

“Are you mad at me?It’s not my fault the elevator is down.”

“If I go into labor becauseI’ve missed Jameson’s speech, I will kill you!” I blew up on him. “After I havethe baby,”

“That’s harsh.”

“No it’s not.”

There were another fewmoments of blissful silence before he spoke again. “Do you think you’llactually have the baby in here?”

“I sure hope not. I’monly thirty-two weeks and the last thing I want, isyoudelivering mybaby.”

All was quiet foranother five minutes or so as I began to have a full-fledged panic attack. Itwas similar to the one I had with the penis and my wedding.

“Sorry,” Spencermuttered shifting away when his leg touched mine, I heard him sigh deeply ashis head fell back against the wall of the elevator. “It’s just me.”

“Spencer?”

“Yeah?”

“I know it’s you.” Itold him perturbed. “We are theonlytwo people in here.”

“I know. I just thoughtit would make you less freaked out. It could be worse.”

“It couldn’t be anyworse and it’s not making me feellessfreaked out. The only thing thatwill make melessfreaked out, would be watching Jameson’s speech rightnow!” My voice rose continuously until by the end of my rant, I was screamingat him.

Maybe it was theresonance of my voice, but just then the elevator jolted, plummeting about afoot before halting. A loud voice echoed the doors, “Are you guys okay?”

“Yeah man, just get usout of here.” Spencer said. “My little brother is giving a speech downstairsand his wife will kill me if we miss it.”

The elevator joltedonce more and then the heavens opened, as did the elevator doors.

“Thank god!” I wailedclinging to Spencer’s burly arm. I was wearing a dress and nylons were not anoption with this belly so when mybare legbrushed against Spencer’sbareleg, I shook my head in disgust that I was now related to this. “You don’thave your pants on, do you?”

“Nope,” he repliedcalmly.

“You have to beshitting me,” I mumbled looking away from him.

There was a three footjump we had to make to get out of elevator so Spencer had to lift my fat ass upso the technician could pull me out. “I was wrong...this could get worse.”

“Nice panties.”

“Stop looking youjerk!”

“What was that ma’am?”the man grunted as he hefted me up.

Spencer chuckled.

“Nothing,” I mumbled,straightening out my dress as Spencer pulled himself up with little effort.

I didn’t wait forSpencer to put his pants back on before I was sprinting to the banquet hall.And if you’ve never seen an eight month pregnant woman sprinting, it resemblesa sea lion moving at full speed. If it wasn’t for Spencer holding on to me, Iprobably would have tripped seeing how I was trying to use my body weight toshift myself from side to side in an attempt to move quicker.

I resisted the urge toclap my hands together and squeal like a sea lion, though I was incrediblytempted to do this.

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