Page 77 of Black Flag

“Did you sleep?”

“A little,”

“I’m going to take ashower.” I told him waiting to see if he said anything. His head jerkedslightly, the only indication that he heard me.

My tears broke throughonce I was in the shower but just like that, he was there in an instant drawingme near.

“I’m sorry.” His handsframed my face. “I didn’t mean to take any of that out on you last night or putyou guys in danger last night.”

“I know you didn’t.” Isobbed clutching him. “I’m just emotional I guess.”

He let me hold him ormaybe he held me.

Either way, no morewords were spoken and we just held each other. I know it may sound silly butthat’s what we both needed right then and the fact that he sensed that tookaway the harsh actions of the previous night.

Since the Darlingtonrace was being held at night, the day wasn’t as rushed but by nine, race daywas in full swing and Jameson’s mood hadn’t improved. He’d apparently madeplans for us to sneak away for lunch but before that could happen, they hadtheir team meeting.

We walked to his haulerto find Jimi was there standing alone inside the hauler waiting on Jameson.

“What was that lastnight?” was his greeting.

“What?” Jameson shoutedas though Jimi was stupid for even asking.

Jimi tossed a wrenchacross the floor. The sound of it hitting the wall caused me to jump.

“Stop raising yourvoice at me and listen for once.”

“Listen to you?” Jamesonstared at his dad incredulously as his voice wavered at the end. “How can yousay that to me...?”

The truth was Jamesonheard every word Jimi ever said to him. If anything, he listened to Jimi morethan he listened to anyone.

“I heard about what happenedin Summerville.” Jimi arched his brow. “You should have called the police.”

Jameson grunted aresponse that Jimi shook his head to, leaving me alone with him.

Jimi’s eyes met minebriefly, before he smiled. “He’s worth it.” And then he too, left.

Jameson hadn’t gonefar, I found him standing outside signing autographs for fans that hadgathered.

He did that for just afew moments before politely excusing himself.

He had a hospitality obligationin the media center for Ayers Manufacturing who was sponsoring the race so wetook the long way and walked along the outside of the pits near the track.

“I don’t know what todo anymore.” His eyes didn’t leave mine as the sun rose on backstretch. Lightfiltered between the rows of Featherlite motor coaches.

“And I do?” My eyessquinted into the brightness.

“Yes.” His tone evenedout, his gaze shifting from mine to the track as if it held the answer to this.

He looked restlessagain. I wanted to take away his pain and his burdens letting himbethe kid he deserved to be for once but that’s not what hewanted. Racing for him was more than just a love and deeper than most cared tounderstand. It was a comfort that pulled from beneath the surface ofself-control.

“I’m tired of makingyou cry.” He exhaled stopping to look at me. I could see the swollen reminderof last night that formed under his right eye and the split in his bottom lip.

“Then don’t.” I repliedsweeping the evidence of my hurt away with my sleeve.

I hated how often I wascrying these days and desperately wanted to have a talk with this little spazinside me regarding his or her effect on me.

“I’m not sure I knowhow to.” I felt his breath stir my hair as words were whispered into my skin.“I’m sorry.” His fingertips caught the tears that remained on the base of mychin. He had that look like he wanted to say more but didn’t.

---