Page 28 of Saving Barrette

My hand goes to her back and strums along the bare skin of her shoulder. The reminder that they took something from her, the anger, it hits me hard, but I don’t let it faze me in front of her. I won’t let her see that side because like I said, I’m really fucking good at being indifferent, and the last thing I want to do is hurt her in any way.

Barrette reaches between us, her hand wrapping around my erection. My hips automatically shift toward her, seeking out her soft hands. My mouth finds her shoulder, her neck, and then back to her mouth.

“Please try,” she whispers against my cheek, kissing along my jaw before finding my lips.

Emotion shifts inside me and I try, fuck do I try to find the courage to give her this, but will it be too much? Touching her face, I trace the line of her jaw. “Barrette…” I begin, and then my breath catches as I move between her legs and forget what I was going to say. My muscles tense, my kisses deepen, full of meaning and love. I don’t know if she knows it, but I try to assure with my touch that this means everything to me.

She watches me, stroking my cheek in the process. I’ve never felt so alive as I do now, burning with nerves, excitement, and fear of what this will mean. But then her hips move, rubbing against me, searching for more and I nearly go insane. It feels so fucking good I can’t stop myself.

I position myself between her legs and watch her reaction to me. Will she tell me to stop? Nothing. I wait. Still nothing.

I draw in a ragged breath, unconvinced.

She notices, her hand on my cheek. “I trust you,” she says, without uncertainty.

I brush her cheek with my fingers and nod, blowing out a slow breath. At least she does because I have no clue what’s going to happen. I push against her opening and fucking moan. It’s embarrassing. But then her knees spread wider and she bites her lip. It doesn’t look like it’s from pain. It’s pleasure and written all over her.

As I finally enter her, the connection I feel with her is indescribable. “Jesus,” I pant, pressing my forehead to hers, trying to catch my breath. My arms shake as I hold myself above her. I’m careful not to give her my full weight; she’s so tiny I’d crush her.

The moment I’m fully sheathed inside, her entire body tenses beneath me. Her thighs squeeze around my waist, and her back arches as if her body is recoiling from the contact. I stop immediately, panic, and pull out completely. “I’m so sorry.” Even in the shadow that conceals my expression, I know she can see the fear radiating from me.

“Don’t stop,” she pleads, gripping my shoulders and trying to pull me back inside. “Please, Asa.”

I didn’t want to stop either, but if I was hurting her, no way. Holding myself above her, I look down, my brow furrowing with uncertainty. “Did I hurt you? You’re shaking.” She’s shaking, but I think I’m shaking harder.

She places her fingers to my lips. “Please… I’m begging you. Give me good memories. I’m shaking because I want you so much.” She kisses me then.

Part of me doesn’t like that she wants me to replace her memories of something that changed her life, and mine, but then there’s a good part of me that wants to. If I can show her that sex can be so much more than someone using your body, then maybe I can heal her? Maybe we can have more.

Taking in a shaky, nervous breath, I enter her again, pull my hips back, then again. It’s almost too much to go slow, but I do, for her.

Unfortunately, I admit to her, “I’m really fucking sorry, but I’m not gonna last long.”

She breathes a quick jagged breath, “It’s okay. It feels good.”

Well, shit. I nearly came just off the idea she’s enjoying this.

I move faster, this time sliding with ease. My breathing is all over the place and hers is about the same. My arms tighten around her body, pulling her into my movements. I’m not forceful, but I’m not as gentle as I want to be.

She never gives me any indication I’m hurting her. No, she clings to me, desperately clutching to anything I give. Time ceases to exist. There’s only Barrette surrounding me, and me, inside her.

“Asa,” she whimpers, her voice hardly recognizable, but I know it’s from pleasure.

“I’m gonna come,” I pant, my movements slowing, trying to hold off. “Do you want me to pull out?”

“No,” she gasps, refusing to allow any space between us. Her hips shift and allow me to slip deeper inside. It’s too much. “Come inside me, please. I want every part of you inside me.”

Fuck. I don’t know what to make of her words, or even how to process them. My face presses into her neck, chasing my need and then I come, unable to hold it off any longer, my hips jerking forward in erratic movements. I groan through my release in her ear, holding her tighter than I want, but never hearing a complaint.

It’s all over in a matter of minutes, and I realize this probably wasn’t very good for her. So much for replacing her bad memories. What an asshole. Jesus.

Rolling off her, I run my hands through my hair. “I’m sorry. That probably sucked for you,” I say quietly, shifting to the side. She blinks rapidly and I think maybe she’s fighting tears. I watch her, apologetic and full of regret. Had I hurt her? Had this been too much for her?

The corners of her lips pull up, her cheeks flushed, like she’s holding back laughter. “It was great.”

“You’re so full of shit right now.” I laugh breathlessly, my bare chest shaking with the movement. I lift my hands and scrub them over my eyes. “I need redemption,” I say, reaching for her. This time I move my hand between her legs and make sure she’s taken care of first. Watching her come apart at my touch is pretty close to perfection.

And then we do it once more, this time slower, kissing passionately.

---