Page 31 of Saving Barrette

Terrell stands from his spot beside me and then leaves, finding a place near the keg. A minute later, he comes back with four beers and a bong. I get up and leave. I’ve smoked before, but not during the season. It’s not worth it to me to get caught. The NCAA takes that shit seriously and performs random drug testing throughout the season. I don’t understand the guys who smoke during the season, or even before a game. Why? What’s the point? They all know we have a bowl game coming up and they’ll random test us, but it doesn’t seem to bother them. Especially Roman and Codey. It’s like they have no regard for rules.

I’m sitting on a couch, well away from the guys smoking and I’m about ready to leave. I need to go check on her.

“Hey, man, is Barrette Blake your girl?” Codey asks, sitting beside me with a fresh beer in his hand. He reeks of his bad decisions and vodka. We’ve played together for two years now, but I don’t talk personal shit with him.

“Why?” I ask, my glare changing his expression real quick. He’s scared of me. He hands me a beer. For some reason, I take it, thinking maybe I might want to dump it on him.

“Just curious.” He leans in, his shoulder pressing to mine like we’re fucking buddies. We’re not. “She’s a hot little piece of ass.” He raises his fist as if I’m supposed to fist-bump him over his derogatory remarks. “Ya feel me?”

Ya feel me? You’re about to feel my fucking fist in your teeth you piece of shit.My entire body bursts into flames and I’m sweating. I look over at him, so many violent images surfacing. I want to smash his face into the ground and make him eat his goddamn words. I’ve always been protective of Barrette but now, since the other night, it’s worse. It’s uncontrollable and I don’t know how to handle it.

And then he has the nerve to ask, “You share?”

I lose it on him. Tossing the beer aside, I watch as it hits the floor with a thud, the liquid splashing over the carpet and I twist violently, my eyes wild, my intentions unpredictable. Even I don’t know what I’m going to do next.

He looks to the beer, then me. His hands rise, his eyes widen. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

I stand, and without thinking, I grab him by the front of his shirt and lift him up to eye level, my knuckles white, my breathing harsh and barely controlled. Flashes of Barrette’s broken bloody body flood my mind and suddenly, I can do something about it. I could take it out on Codey. “You even fucking mention her name again and I will break your goddamn jaw. Ya feel me?”

He swallows, fear evident and blows out a quick breath. “Sorry, man.”

I let go of him and he flops back against the couch, our teammates rushing over to us. Terrell grabs me by the shirt. “You good?”

Annoyed, I roll my head to his. “I’m out.”

Terrell sighs and glares at Codey. “Now look what you’ve done.”

I intend on leaving, but I see Barrette come in the house with Joey. It’s not unheard of for her to be at a party. It’s not like I expect her to stay in her room all the time and it makes me feel better to see her with Joey.

I watch her for just a moment, no smile, no awareness of anything around her. She scans the room, but she hasn’t noticed me yet. My heart thuds louder in my ears.

She walks by and finally notices me. Relief floods her eyes, her adorable smile contagious. I move toward her, waiting to see what she’ll do. Without hesitation, she wraps her arms around my neck. “You won.”

“I won more than the game,” I whisper, holding her close. “I texted you.”

“Sorry. My phone died during the game.”

I draw back looking down at her. “Were you at the game?”

She waves her hand around. “No, we watched on my phone, which is why it’s dead.”

I laugh and pull her back toward me to kiss her. In front of everyone, I kiss her. I wonder if she realizes this is a first, but then again, I don’t think I care what anyone thinks. Technically, it’s just a kiss. But it’s so much more now. More meaning, more feelings, more impatience on my part for sure because I’d rather be anywhere but here.

Joey gags beside us. “You guys are gross. You’re making me sick to my stomach.”

Roman approaches, smiling and hands Joey a beer. “Hey, JoJo.” He’s clearly drunk, obnoxiously so, and snakes his arm around her shoulder. “When are you going to give me some honey bear?” Though his question is meant for Joey, his stare lingers on Barrette.

Joey laughs in his face. “You couldn’t handle my honey.”

There’s probably some truth to it, but something bothers me about the way he has his arm around Joey. She doesn’t look comfortable with him. I know what happened to Joey. Barrette told me one night, with Joey’s permission of course, and then months later, Joey opened up to me. I hated knowing there are thousands of women out there going through the same motions Barrette is.

A heavy bass thumps throughout the house, shaking the windows and my chest. Barrette leans into me, her body curving into mine. To the ordinary eye, we look like a couple though we’ve never talked about what the other night meant.

She pulls at my hand, leaving Roman with Joey. “Dance with me.”

I can’t deny her. My nerves are still on edge, but I do as she asks because this feels so normal, and I want normal so badly.

She moves closer. I watch and move with her. My breath hits her neck and she curls around me, melting against me. Her heat becomes one with my heat. Thoughts of our time together the other night flood my brain and it’s everything I can do to keep my excitement in check and not be obvious. I can’t draw my eyes from her hips when she brings them forward and back again to the beat of the bass.