Page 36 of Roan

In one swift movement, drinks crash to the ground and my dad reaches for Tiller and yanks him effortlessly to a standing position. He presses his forearm to Tiller’s chest and slams him against the side of the house. “What the fuck is he talking about?”

I’m still trying to catch my breath, Agustin is confused, rubbing my back, and everyone is looking at me like I’ve burned the world to the ground. “Wait,” Agustin says, “so you dated Tiller?”

I don’t answer him because I’m actually afraid my dad is about to murder the Wild Cat.

Tiller rolls his eyes, bored and uninterested, but cringing in pain. “Do you want me to lie?”

“Oh, come on, man. Relax.” Roan chuckles, a deep rumble emitting from his chest. Knowing it’s going too far, because of him, he stands and walks over to Carl.

In passing, his shoulder brushes mine. I want to cry, not for being outed in front of everyone, but that even in that tiny flicker of a touch, everything fades away but the memory of the day I fell in love with him. There’s a moment, right there. Pause on it. Do you notice the quick flick of his eyes to mine? Suddenly alert and questioning. I blink, unable to hold on. Our love, it’s hidden, but not really. Not at all. Our love is wide-open, full throttle, red-lined ’til the very end.

Still, his harsh words draw me back to the moment and remind me of the catastrophic change. “You didn’t really think letting your daughter hang out here wouldn’t result in her fuckingbothof us, did you?”

Do you notice the word “both” he slips in there? I do, but I think my dad is too far gone to realize it.

“Shut up, Roan.” Willa snaps her eyes to Roan, rushing to where my dad still has Tiller against the wall.

His lips are turning blue, but it doesn’t stop him from smiling wickedly my way, as if to say, look what you did.

“Carl.” Willa attempts to reason with my dad. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

Brad, Zach, Ricky, Shade… they all come to Tiller’s defense and attempt to restrain my dad from killing him. Slowly, he lets go of Tiller, who falls to the ground. Both hands fly to his crotch and he screams in pain. I’ve never seen Tiller in such agony, but he literally looks like he’s going to cry any second.

Willa and Amberly tend to him and I’m left standing there, shocked silent. Voices fade in and out around me as people shuffle around, tending to Tiller. I grab Agustin’s hand. “Meet me in the car.”

He nods, knowing it’s time to leave.

Without another word, he turns his back and walks out, leaving me standing alone with my dad who wants to kill me. The last time I saw him this angry, I used his credit card to buy a thousand dollars-worth of shit off Amazon while he was sleeping. I was also nine.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him, my voice weak. In the distance, Tiller gets to his feet and stumbles inside the house.

Dad scowls down at me. “Did he hurt you?”

My face scrunches. “Dad, no. It wasn’t like that.”

“Why?”

“Why did I have sex with him?”

“You know their reputation, Ophelia.” He grimaces. “Have more respect for yourself.”

Those words, they hurt. Bad. Especially coming from my dad of all people, a man who knows each one of these guys down to their souls. Yes, they’re deranged shitheads 90 percent of the time, but they’re also the same guys who have each other’s back through the thick and thin. Don’t believe me? Look who just handed an ice pack to Tiller. Okay, threw one at his head. Roan.

They’re brothers. They’re good guys, on the inside.

Dad sighs, grumbling, “We’ll talk about this later,” as he pushes past me.

I’m left alone, the accusing stares of those left in the backyard following me as I step foot in the house. I can’t look at anyone as I make my way through to the entryway. My hand’s on the door when his chest presses to my back.

I wait, a rush of emotion rolling through me.

His nose is at the shell of my ear, his low rumbled words vibrating through me. “You’re not even gonna say goodbye?”

“I’m certainly not wanted here.” My voice trembles, fat tears rolling down my face. My heart cracks and I hate him for making me feel this way. “I have you to thank for that.”

With wild eyes and flushed cheeks he leans in, tormented blues searing through my will to push him away. “Why’d you bringhim?” His tone is low, uncertain of what my answer might be. Maybe he’s scared.

Turning, I face him. I search his eyes for something. What, I’m not sure I know. All I do know is he humiliated me in the most public way and looking at him now, I’m not sure he even grasps what he’s done. So I go for blood. I take his heart in my hand and squeeze. “I’m… datinghim.”

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