Page 38 of Roan

“Tiller, knock it off.” Ricky stands and makes him sit down.

Carl stands, his intimidation reaching new levels as he strides over to the three of us, his eyes on mine. “Outside. Now.”

I smile and stand. Without another word, I follow him to the backyard wondering if he’s going to drown me in the pool. I wouldn’t put it past him and I wouldn’t blame him. In fact, I probably wouldn’t even put up much of a fight.

With his back to me, his hands on his hips, his breathing heavy. “I’m not stupid.”

“Yet you never said anything,” I add, watching the sky light up again, ripples of electricity dancing through the valley. It rumbles moments later, bouncing off the hills. “You can’t tell me that all those times you couldn’t find her, or me, it never crossed your mind?”

He thinks about it. I can tell by the way his eyes adapt a newfound anger that he contemplates it longer than he wants to. “She’s just a kid, Roan. Too young for you.”

Sighing, I run my hand through my hair. “You don’t think I know that?”

He drops his hands and turns to face me. “Is that why you let Tiller believe it was you that night in Athens? Blackmail?”

I shrug and think back to the night it all started and the domino effect that followed. “No, not really. I suppose it had to do with loyalty. Believe it or not, I do respect you.”

“Just not enough to keep your hands off my daughter?” he deduces, as though he’s found the answer he’s looking for.

I fight off a smile. He really has no idea. “I don’t know what it is you want me to say, man. It wasn’t like I was just using her as a toy.”

Standing inches before me, he gazes down, his tight eyes conflicted. “If she wasn’t a toy, why is she with him now?”

That one earns him a laugh. “Lies have consequences, my friend.”

He draws in a quick breath and finally sees where all this went wrong. “Then tell her the truth.”

Our eyes lock. “Is that what you want?”

Disappointment forces him to shift his stance. He blinks at me and I’m not sure if he’s caught off guard by me or just thinking about what it would mean to the little girl who grew up thinking her daddy was a saint. How would she feel if she knew that yeah, he indulged on the road a few times? I don’t know, but his answer comes with a twinge of disappointment for me. “No.”

“Then it’s between me and you. She doesn’t have to know.”

“You don’t have to do that,” he snaps, losing his shit. “I’m a grown man, Roan. I can take care of my own messes.”

I shake my head. “It’s done. There’s really no sense in bringing up the past.”

“No, it’s not done.” Carl takes a seat on a chair next to the bar, resting his elbows on his knees. “He asked me if he could marry her. I gave him permission a week ago.” His voice is strong, biting back so much more than he wants, his eyes suddenly alert, on mine and questioning. I can barely breathe, let alone listen to what comes out of his mouth next. But I think, it’s “Are you going to stop him?”

My heart’s in my fucking throat. I don’t say anything. I’m not sure words are necessary. I think me throwing a lounge chair through the living room window about sums up my reply.

In the blurry minutes that follow, Tiller dodges the chair, screams at me, and I grab a set of keys off the counter.

Willa steps in front of me, her hands on my chest. “Where are you going?”

I don’t look at her. “Out.”

Her hold tightens, her stare flickering under the relentless ruthless way mine refuse. “Roan, don’t. You have a show tomorrow.”

“It’s not like I’m going for a sleepover,” I scoff, stepping past her.

With my hand on the door, she adds in a motherly tone, “Don’t make this worse.”

Make this worse? That’s funny. I’m a fucking mess and in no condition to see her but given my mental state of complete rage, where do you think I’m going?

If you guess to bed, you’re wrong. You don’t know me very well.

Inky darkness blankets the city, a coldness deep in my bone marrow held prisoner to the one with cold blues. I can’t believe he did that. Actually… I can. He’s Roan and he’s anything but predictable.

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